Torn
by SaltyMama1315
Summary: Amanda Rollins is torn between two men. Who will she choose?
1. Chapter 1

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS, THEY ARE THE CREATION OF DICK WOLF AND NBC ENTERTAINMENT. I HAVE MERELY BORROWED THEM TO COME OUT AND PLAY. IF THERE IS SOMETHING YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE IN THE STORY, FEEL FREE TO LET ME KNOW.**

The morning was bright and sparkling in the morning sunlight as Amanda entered the station. She raised her sunglasses to the top of her head and smiled, coffee cup in hand. Work was always a constant in her life, nothing else seemed to change here. Well, that's not entirely true. Some things have changed; some for the better and some for the worst.

Some of the worst changes were when Nick left. He had made the decision to leave without even consulting her. Not that they were really a couple, more like two people who fueled each other's fire for a short time. Maybe she felt something more for him at one point in her life but now Nick Amaro was nothing more than a fleeting memory of what was.

So was Declan Murphy. Okay, maybe not as fleeting as Nick but still a memory of her past. Getting busted all those years ago in that gambling club had brought the UC Lieutenant into Amanda's life and had brought her the only thing she had ever done right in her life: her daughter Jesse. Amanda wouldn't trade Jesse for anything but Declan couldn't say the same. Apparently to him, his daughter was not as important as his undercover work and before she was even born, Declan was back in deep cover of Serbia.

All that had led Amanda here: a single mom working her tail off to create a life for her and her daughter. But something was changing. A recent case involving a missing child had her rethinking things. As Carisi had told her after the case was over, she is a good mother and like she told him, it does get lonely sometimes. Perhaps that's when things started to change. Maybe it was before that or it could've been after. But the truth was she had been through a lot lately and she wasn't doing it entirely alone anymore – now she had Sonny Carisi by her side.

"You just gonna stand there or you gonna sit?" a voice said behind her. Amanda turned to see Fin standing behind her.

"Thought I'd take in the scenery. That a problem?" she asked with an eyebrow raised.

"Nah, just giving you a hard time. I was up late last night."

"Hot date?" Amanda asked, sitting at her desk while Fin took his place across from her.

"Nope, KOBS meeting."

"You boys and your video games. I just don't get it."

"Hey you have your way to relax and I got mine," Fin said with a knowing smile. While nobody else at the precinct knew of the budding feelings (if she would call them that) Amanda was starting to feel for Sonny, she had confided in Fin. Fin was like the older brother every girl wished they had. He never criticized her for her choices, only offered support when she needed it and a comforting hand when she was about to fall apart.

"Thought we weren't going to discuss this anymore," she said quietly to him.

"We aren't. Just know I'm here if you do want to talk," Fin replied.

"Thanks," Amanda said as both she and Fin turned to see who had come in.

Sonny walked in and stopped short in the doorway. He could feel eyes on him. Why was Amanda and Fin staring at him like that? Did he have something on his face, his tie or his suit? He glanced down and ran his hand nervously over his face. Nothing.

"What's up?" he asked, the Staten Island accent as thick as could be.

"Just getting the morning going," Fin said.

"Anyone want coffee?" Amanda said.

"I'm good girl," Fin said as he nodded his head in the direction of the break room.

"Carisi?"

"Yeah. I'll come with," Sonny said, following Amanda. Fin just kept an eye out for Olivia. He may know something is going on with the young detectives, but their boss does not.

Inside the breakroom, Sonny went to the coffee pot as Amanda sat down.

"Missed you last night," he said in a low voice.

"Sorry. Jesse hasn't been feeling well. I thought a night in would be better for her."

"I could've helped you. Why didn't you call?"

"I'm a big girl, Carisi. I can handle an upset stomach by myself."

"I know that, 'Manda. But I want to be there for both you and Jesse."

"I know you do. Why don't you come over tonight for dinner?"

"Are you cooking it?" he asked, skeptic.

"No, you are. We can go shopping after work," Amanda said, standing and accepting the coffee cup from him. "Thanks for the coffee," she said, smiling at him.

"Anytime," he said as he smiled back. Just then, another detective came into the break room and they both disappeared back to their desks.

A short time later, after Liv had arrived in a flurry with Chief Dodds, both emerged from her office. Her face was stern and clearly stated something big was happening.

"Listen up. We've got a big one," she called out to the squad room. Everyone stopped and looked at her.

"As most of you know, we have a few very special guests in New York this week, the royal family of Calcutta. They are here along with a few security personnel. The head of the security detail is Johnathon Applewhite. His wife and teenage daughter have accompanied them," Dodds said.

"It appears that Jennifer Applewhite has been abducted," Liv explained. "Jennifer is a 15 year old white female with brown hair and hazel eyes. It's unclear as to who is the real target of this abduction, the Applewhite family or the royal family. Nonetheless, we have been asked by the mayor to handle this personally."

"Everything else you're working on now has been pushed to the back burner. SVU detectives from other boroughs will be coming to gather whatever it is that needs to be done on your other cases," Dodds explained.

"Where was she abducted?" Fin asked.

"At a bodega near 23rd St. she was there with her mother, the royal princess and two female security agents. Once they stepped outside the bodega, Jennifer was grabbed by a masked man and tossed into a dark colored van, possibly brown or black," Liv replied.

"Everyone else?" Sonny asked.

"Relatively unharmed. Mrs. Applewhite was shielding the royal princess from danger with one agent protecting them and the other agent trying to rescue Jennifer. That agent has a few minor injuries and has been transport to Bellevue. Her name is Alexis Johansen. Mrs. Applewhite and the royal princess have been escorted back to the hotel and their entire floor is on lockdown. Nobody up or down except us," Liv added.

"What do you want us to do first?" Amanda asked.

"Rollins start gathering security footage from any camera in the area of the bodega and include a 5 mile radius. Anything suspicious, get it to TARU. Carisi, go to the hospital and take Ms. Johansen's statement. Fin, you and I will go talk to the family. We do this 10000% by the book as Chief Dodds will be our liaison between us and the mayor's office," Liv finished.

"Let's try to solve this as quickly as we can people. These people are guests in our great state and we need to get the girl back, safe and sound to her family," Dodds added.

Liv, Fin and Sonny all grabbed their coats. Amanda was firing up her computer as they left but looked up to see Sonny's eyes on her. He mouthed the words ' _I'm sorry_ ' but she just nodded her head. This was no time to get distracted. The clock was ticking.


	2. Chapter 2

Amanda spent all day going over security footage. The camera at the bodega didn't give a really good picture of the van or its occupants, but she did get lucky on a red light cam about half a mile away. It showed the van was a late model Ford Econoline, brown in color and gave them a partial plate. Amanda called it in to TARU to see if they could enhance the footage.

As she was getting back to her desk after refilling her coffee cup again, Amanda felt a strong presence coming from Liv's office. She raised her head just in time to see Lieutenant Declan Murphy strolling on out with Chief Dodds. The pair seemed to be quite chatty.

Amanda was floored. She hadn't seen or spoken to Declan in months. The last time they spoke was shortly after Jesse was born and even then, Declan didn't want Amanda to send any photos. Now he just shows up here out of the blue? Did Jennifer's abduction have anything to do with sex traffickers?

"Detective, can you please bring the Lieutenant up to speed?" Dodds asked, bringing Amanda out of her daze.

"Of course Chief."

Declan sat down across from Amanda at Fin's desk. He leaned back in the chair and propped his feet up on the desk. He looked relaxed in his signature black leather jacket with his reddish hair a little longer than she remembered.

"Been a long time, Amanda," Declan said in his slow drawl.

"Yeah it has. What are you doing here Declan?" Amanda asked.

"There's a possibility that your kidnapped girl is going to be sold to one of the trafficking rings I've been infiltrating. Dodds asked me to lend an ear and possibly a hand."

"So you can come back for a missing teenager from out of state but not your own daughter?" Amanda asked as she stood from her desk and headed for the bunkroom. Declan followed her.

"You know I've been working."

"So have I Declan, but I'm still here taking care of Jesse."

"You told me you didn't want anything from me. I tried to offer my help."

"Kinda hard to do from Serbia isn't it?"

"Amanda, I would do anything for you and Jesse. I want you to know that."

"It's too late now Declan. Things are finally good."

"It's' never too late for us to be a family."

"What are you talking about?" Amanda asked as Declan put his hands on her shoulders.

"Just say the word and I'm out. I'll come out from under and we can be a real family; you, me and Jesse. I've never stopped thinking about either of you and I still want to be with you Amanda."

She froze, not really knowing what to think. Back when she had first learned she was pregnant, Amanda would've been thrilled to hear these words from Declan. But then she heard he was in Serbia and that ultimately had made her choice for her – raise the baby alone and give Declan his out. Now he was here, almost a year after Jesse had been born and claiming to want to be with them.

Slowly Amanda removed his hands from her shoulders. She took a deep breath and looked at his face. She could see the newly formed lines from stress and worry on his face. He certainly appeared to have aged.

Very quietly she spoke. "It is too late, Declan."

"You're with someone?" he asked, already knowing the answer.

"Sort of."

"What does 'sort of' mean? Are you with someone or not?"

"We're still figuring things out, but yes I guess you could say I'm with someone."

"Figuring things out doesn't sound together to me."

"Nothing ever does Declan. Things are finally good now and I want them to stay that way."

"They will. Come back to me. Let us have a chance to be a family with our daughter."

"I told you, it's too late." With that, Amanda walked out of the bunkroom and headed for her desk.

The rest of the squad showed up shortly after and needless to say, everyone was surprised to see Murphy was back. Liv took him into her office to discuss the trafficking angle while Fin went over witness statements. Once again, Amanda found herself in the bunkroom but with Sonny.

"Murphy is back?" he asked.

"Guess so."

"Just for the case?"

Amanda took a deep breath. "He wants us to be a family. You know him, me and Jesse."

Sonny appeared hurt, which was to be expected. He sunk down onto the bunk and Amanda sat down next to him. She wanted to take his hand, but this was work and the contact had to be minimal so that nobody found out.

"Talk to me, Sonny."

"Do you want Murphy? Have you just been killing time with me until he came back? Please tell me where I stand because these past 8 months have been the best of my life and I can honestly say I'm falling in love with you. I want to be with you, 'Manda and Jesse too. Please tell me where I stand."

Amanda took in his words. Sonny often led with his emotions, that was no surprise. She was surprised to hear that he was falling in love with her because she was falling in love with him too. But should she put her own happiness above her daughter's? She knew without a doubt, Jesse loved Sonny, but to deny her the chance to know her real father just because her mother didn't love him? Is that really any different than the way Amanda's own mother, Beth Anne, acted?

"Sonny…"

The door burst open, Fin still holding onto the doorknob.

"Ransom call just came in. We gotta move."


	3. Chapter 3

The squad didn't waste any time. They raced to the hotel where the royal family was staying. It was weighing on Amanda's mind how to answer Sonny's question when there was so much more on the line.

They arrived at the hotel and went to the penthouse level. Johnathon Applewhite met them at the door.

"Thank God you're here."

"You received a call, Mr. Applewhite?" Liv asked.

"Yes, about 20 minutes ago."

"What did they want?" Amanda asked.

"They said they wanted the Royal Duke and I to deliver 20 million dollars to a locker at the Swimtastic Center in Tribeca, locker number 158."

"Do you have that kind of money?" Amanda asked, shocked.

"The Duke is making some calls," Johnathon said quietly.

"He's getting you 20 million? That's kinda odd, isn't it?" Amanda asked, eyeing Liv.

"The Duke and I have been through a lot. He personally handpicked me for his security detail because of my past."

"What past is that?" Liv asked.

"I'm not at liberty to discuss it," Johnathon said, this time looking at the floor.

"Johnathon will have the money," the Duke said as he entered the room. Everyone turned to look at him as he sat next to Johnathon. "Johnathon and Sonya are like family to us, Jennifer like a niece. He's right; I personally picked him to protect me because of his past."

"What past?" Liv asked again.

Johnathon looked at the Duke. "Tell them," the Duke urged.

"I was pretty smart in school; managed to graduate early. Shortly after I got into college, I was noticed for my computer skills by someone in the CIA. I worked for them for a couple years before someone else noticed I was a pretty good shoot. I was then recruited to work with the Secret Service."

"You worked for the president?" Amanda asked.

"For a couple years; yeah. Look this has nothing to do with what's happening now. I want my daughter back."

"The money will be waiting for us at the bank in one hour," the Duke said.

"Thanks Raul," Johnathon said, looking very grateful.

"Then we're going with you," Liv said firmly.

"No. He said if he saw police, he would kill Jennifer," the Duke insisted.

"Then he won't see police. Fin, stay with here with Mrs. Applewhite, the Duchess and the security team. Rollins and Carisi, you're coming with me," Liv said as she stood. Amanda also stood and looked at Sonny. What were they getting themselves into now?

When Liv said the kidnapper wouldn't see cops, Amanda had no idea what that would mean for her and Sonny. But there they stood, Jesse in tow, pretending to be a married couple taking their daughter swimming.

"Interesting background story, huh?" Amanda asked as she held onto Jesse. The happy little baby wiggled in her mother's grasp.

"Hey, we've taken Jess swimming before. This is no different," Sonny said confidently as he guided them towards the pool, one hand on Amanda's lower back.

"Yeah but this is the first time doing it pretending to be a married couple."

" _Enough chit chat. Focus,_ " Liv's voice came through their ear pieces. Both Amanda and Sonny switched their attention back to the room.

"Anything suspicious?" Amanda asked as she lowered Jesse into the baby pool and watched as she splashed happily.

"Guy over by the lockers; just kinda hangin' around," Sonny said as he watched the man out of the corner of his eye. He shifted his vision slightly and proceeded to raise his camera.

"Come on Jesse girl. Give Mama a big smile," Amanda coaxed as Sonny snapped a photo.

" _The Duke and Applewhite are on scene, entering the building now,_ " Liv said. Sonny glanced around the room and saw the two men enter. Applewhite carried a duffel bag and they headed for the lockers.

"I got 'em," Sonny said to no one in particular. He watched as they deposited the bag inside locker number 158, closed the door and left.

" _Keep an eye on the money. I've got UCs following them back to the hotel. Let us know when to move in,_ " Liv said.

It didn't take long before the man Sonny had seen before started shifting a bit. Amanda had taken Jesse into the locker room to get her changed before handing her off to Audrey, who was waiting for them. She was to stay hidden until Sonny gave the signal.

Slowly, the man headed for the lockers. When he got in front of 158, he stopped. Glancing around a couple times, he opened the door.

"Move in now! Suspect is in jeans, dark red hoodie and baseball hat," Sonny said into his mic. He walked over behind the man.

"Hey can I ask you a question?" he asked, strong Staten Island accent coming through.

"What?" the stranger said, gruffly.

"Why you walking around with a bag full of cash and this ain't your locker."

The stranger turned to run and came face to face with Amanda's gun.

"I'd advise you to answer the man," she said calmly. Uniformed officers stormed in and took custody of the stranger as Liv approached her detectives.

"Everything okay? Where's Jesse?"

"Already with Audrey and headed back home," Amanda answered.

"Good. Great work guys, let's get back and nail this son of a bitch."

Back at the squad room, Amanda and Liv were going at the suspect. He wouldn't give anything up, not his name or why he was retrieving the money. Fin had left the penthouse, leaving unis there with the families and now was watching behind the glass with Sonny.

"You know he might not know anything," Fin said but Sonny disagreed. There was something about the man's demeanor that said he knew more than he was telling.

"I don't think so. He's just not going to give it up to them," Sonny said as he knocked on the glass. Amanda and Liv came out.

"What's up?" Liv asked.

"Let me take a run at him Lieu. I think he might open up to me," Sonny said calmly.

Liv didn't say a word, just stepped aside to let him enter. Sonny walked in, shut the door and sat down across from the man.

"How ya doin'? I'm Dominick Carisi, but everyone calls me Sonny. Feel like telling me your name?"

The man was silent.

"I get it man, you don't want to talk. If it were me though, I'd want to say something. The DA is going to get wind that we caught ya and once they come in, we gotta stop talkin'. You don't really wanna go down for this kidnappin' alone, do ya? Unless someone else is pullin' the strings and you're just a puppet."

The man's head snapped up. "I ain't no puppet. How's ol' Johnny boy feeling now? Not too good, I bet, seeing as how his precious little daughter is gone."

"So you know Johnathon?"

"Oh yeah, I know his sorry ass. Thinks he's all special or some shit. He ain't nothing."

"What did he do to you?"

"Don't matter now. At least he's hurting now."

"Is that what you wanted? Did he do something to hurt you?" Sonny asked, coaxing information out as he built a rapport.

"That asshat took my job, made everyone think he was so special. He was nothing and still is nothing. He doesn't deserve anything he has."

"So you took his daughter because he took your job?"

"Maybe."

"You jealous cause he got a wife and kid?" Sonny asked.

"Look, until you've been in our situation, don't think you know nothing about us."

"What's your name?"

"Mitch."

"Okay Mitch. What situation is that?"

"Ol' Johnny boy and I were in the service together. Used to be bros, you know? Then I started dating this girl; we had a good thing going. Then it wasn't so good. We split and it wasn't long before she started dating Johnny. Then I hear she's pregnant and they're getting married. They have that kid and we get picked for this security gig.

Man I tell ya, I was so right to lead this team. I really thought I finally had something to be proud of. Then I get the news: Johnny is leading the team and I've been kicked out. I went to him, asked him how he could stab me in the back like that. Do you have any idea what it's like to love someone or something and have someone else take it away?"

Sonny was quiet as he turned towards the mirror. He couldn't see Amanda's eyes, but he knew she was watching. To place themselves in the scenario, Declan was like Mitch and Sonny was like Johnny: he had taken Declan's place in Amanda and Jesse's lives.

"I don't know what that's like but taking someone's kid is never a way to solve anything. Where is Jennifer?" Sonny asked.

"2356 Stymied Ave in Brooklyn. This was never about money, you gotta understand that. This was about pain. I wanted Johnny to hurt as much as I do. I was gonna send the money back with Jennifer."

"You know I gotta arrest you now."

"Yeah, I know."

As Mitch stood up and Sonny placed the cuffs on him, he read him his rights. Leading him out of the room, he caught eyes with Amanda. His face was blank and she couldn't tell how he was feeling now.

Sonny led Mitch to lockup while Amanda and Fin raced off to collect Jennifer.


	4. Chapter 4

Fin and Amanda raced towards Brooklyn, lights flashing and sirens blaring. Mitch had seemed like he was telling Sonny the truth about Jennifer's location, but they wanted to get there now.

Pulling up to the address they were given, they raced inside the brownstone. Fin cleared the first floor as Amanda took the stairs. She cleared the first two rooms and upon entering the third, found Jennifer. She was restrained by a shackle around her ankle and Amanda called for bolt cutters.

"Are you Jennifer Applewhite?"

"Yes. Who are you?"

"My name is Detective Rollins. My partner and I are here to take you home."

"I want to see my mom and dad."

"You will honey, we just gotta get you out of here."

"Is Mitch coming back?"

"Not anytime soon. We have him in custody."

Fin came in with the bolt cutters and freed Jennifer. Amanda took a nearby blanket and wrapped it around her shoulders. Together the three of them walked out of the brownstone.

After rescuing Jennifer, Fin and Amanda brought her back to the station. Her family and the Royal Family were waiting for her. It was quite the tear-filled reunion. The Applewhites thanked the detectives for their fast work, but Amanda pulled Johnathon aside.

"Something wrong Detective?" he asked.

"No, I just had a question."

"Okay."

"Mitch told us he used to date your wife."

Johnathon sighed. "Yes he and Sonya used to date before she and I did. Is that relevant?"

"I'm just curious. You and Mitch were friendly, to say the least. Why would you want to date his ex? Why would you marry her?"

"Mitch and Sonya were never going to last. Sonya wanted to settle down and Mitch would never give up his job for her. So they split. I knew I wanted a wife and a family. It kinda made sense for us to get together. If Sonya asked me tomorrow to give up my job and just be with her, I would in a heartbeat. She and Jennifer are the most important people in my life. I would do anything for them."

"Thanks. Enjoy your trip back to Calcutta."

"Thank you for bringing my daughter home," Johnathon said as he turned and headed back towards his family. Together, they left the station.

Amanda was stunned. It was almost like seeing her life play out in front of her, obviously different but with many striking similarities. Declan hadn't wanted to give up his job for her or Jesse but Sonny would in a minute. If Amanda wanted Sonny to do something, he would without question. That's what she loved about him; he loved to make her happy. Nobody else had been like that, certainly nobody who mattered.

As Amanda headed back towards her desk, Liv stopped her.

"Good work today, Rollins."

"Thanks Liv, but I didn't really do anything. It was Carisi that got Mitch to spill."

"Maybe so, but this was a group effort. Nice work."

"Thanks. Um, Liv, have you seen Carisi?"

"I think he's gone home. This one seemed to hit him kinda hard so I told him he could go while you and Fin were gone. Did you need him for something?"

"No, thanks. See you tomorrow."

Amanda was shutting down her computer and Fin looked over at her.

"Wanna get a drink?" he asked.

"I should get home, Jesse and all."

"Audrey ain't going anywhere. Come on," Fin said again.

The look in his eye said he wanted to talk and Amanda knew there was only one thing they could talk about that had to stay away from the squad room. So she grabbed her coat and they headed to the bar down the street.

Sitting at the bar, Fin ordered a beer for himself and a whiskey neat for Amanda. Being partners for so long, he knew what she liked to drink.

"Everything okay with Carisi?" he asked.

Amanda took a sip. "I guess."

"I see Murphy is back."

"Yup."

"For good?"

"Honestly I have no idea."

"What does he want?" Fin asked.

"He says he wants to be a family with me and Jesse. Told me that if I said the word, he'd come out and we could be a family."

"And you told Carisi?"

"I had to. The worst part was the look on his face. Fin, he asked me where he stands in all this. He told me he's falling in love with me, that he wants to be with me and Jesse."

"What did you say?"

"I didn't have time to answer him. We got the ransom call."

"So what do you want, 'Manda?"

"I know Jesse loves Sonny. To her, he is like the coolest thing ever. Wouldn't surprise me if she thinks he's her dad. But shouldn't I let Declan have the chance to be a dad? Would it make me a horrible person if I didn't?"

"'Manda, listen to me. You've told me what Murphy wants. You've told me what Carisi wants. You've told me how Jesse feels. But you've never told me what you want. Do you want to try with Murphy or just be with Carisi? What does Amanda want?"

Amanda thought for a minute. "I don't think anyone has asked me that."

"So what's the answer?"

That was when Amanda spoke the words she never thought she'd say. "I love him, Fin. I love Sonny and I want to be with him. I can be myself around him; he knows my flaws and still wants to be there, every day. I know I can count on him; all he ever wants is for Jesse and me to be happy. I love him."

"Then go get your man, girl," Fin said with a nudge.

"I don't even know where he is."

"Hold on," Fin replied, taking out his phone. He punched a couple keys, waited a minute and then the phone pinged. "He's home. Better get over there."

"Thanks Fin. What would I do without you?"

"You'll never have to find out, baby girl. Go get your man."

Fin practically pushed Amanda out of the bar. She flagged down a cab and gave the cabbie Sonny's address.

On the cab ride to his place, Amanda began to feel nervous. This was one of the biggest moments in her life. She was going to tell Sonny how she felt about him. The only person she had publicly acknowledged love for was her daughter but this was bigger than that. Saying these words now could mean a lifetime of happiness.

Arriving at his place, Amanda stood on the sidewalk below after the cab drove away. She looked up to the second floor and saw a light on in his window. She could see him, back to the window. He had changed out of his suit and had on the gray sweater she had given him for his birthday.

Just as she was about to head inside, her phone rang. Automatically her mind went to Audrey; maybe something was wrong with Jesse. But it wasn't Audrey's number. It was Declan's.


	5. Chapter 5

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: GETS A LITTLE NSFW IN THIS CHAPTER, JUST TO WARN YOU!**

Amanda debated on answering the phone. She knew she would have to have this conversation sooner or later, but she had hoped she could talk to Sonny first. Oh well, it was now or never.

She hit the green icon. "Hey Declan."

" _Hey Amanda. How are you_?"

"Fine."

" _How's Jesse_?"

"Fine."

" _Is that all I get, one word answers_?"

"It's been a long day, Declan. I'm tired."

" _Okay, so have dinner with me tomorrow night. We need to talk about us._ "

"Declan, I told you earlier, I'm with someone."

" _No, you told me you were 'figuring things out' which doesn't mean you're with someone. Amanda, I'm trying to tell you something and it's like you're not even hearing me._ "

"Declan, I don't have time to discuss this right now."

" _It's dinner. We both have to eat, might as well eat together._ "

"You're not gonna give up until I say yes, are you?"

" _Nope._ "

"Fine."

" _Great. Dinner tomorrow night, 7:00 at Randolph's. They have the best Italian food in the city._ "

Amanda highly doubted that since she knew Sonny could cook better than most chefs but she hastily hung up the phone. She was more determined now than ever to go to Sonny.

She climbed the stairs to his apartment and tentatively knocked on the door. It felt like hours before Sonny opened his door, but it was mere moments. It was almost like he had been waiting for her.

The door swung open and he stood there, hair swept off to the side. His cheeks were a little rosy and Amanda could smell the beer on his breath. He was wearing the gray sweater along with dark jeans.

"'Manda?"

Now that she was standing in front of him, she couldn't get the words out. So instead she took a step towards him and wrapped her arms around his neck. Talking was never her strong suit but her actions more than made up for it.

Her lips sought out his and she tugged his bottom lip between her teeth. The arm that had been casually propped up on the door now was around her waist, pulling her closer as he turned her into the apartment. He blindly shut the door, never breaking the kiss.

Amanda tugged him backwards towards his sofa until she felt it behind her legs. Arms still around his neck, she pulled him down on top of her. She felt his lips move to her neck and she tilted her head to allow him better access. His hands roamed over her body, needing no road map to show them the way.

She pulled at his sweater until it was off of him, tossing it behind the couch. She ran her fingertips over his skin before working on the buttons of her own shirt. He helped lift her up slightly to pull the shirt away from her body and tossing it to the floor.

"'Manda, you sure you want this? I can't do this if you don't want this," Sonny slurred as his hands caressed her breasts through her bra.

"Make love to me, Sonny," she breathed to him.

"Tell me you want me."

"I always want you."

"God, I love you 'Manda."

"I love you too."

Sonny paused in his movements as he heard the words come from her lips. He raised his head to stare into her eyes, blue pools that looked like endless diamonds. It was there that he saw the truth in her words. She did love him.

He tugged at her jeans, fighting the button and zipper against his eager fingers. He got them open and slid a hand inside. Amanda felt him as he teased the outside of her with his fingers before he gently slipped inside.

Sonny knew all the right spots to touch her and this time was no different. He caressed and massaged the inside of her with those fingers as his thumb settled on the sweet spot. Amanda gasped and Sonny smiled to himself.

"Don't stop," she whispered to him as she began to shake. It was starting, simply from his touch. No other man had ever made her feel this way.

"Say it again."

"I love you."

The one hand stayed inside of her while his other hand wrestled his belt buckle. Loosening it from his jeans, he got them open and slid them down his legs.

Amanda could feel everything starting to tingle. She was there, pushing against the abyss as she quaked around him. He held on tight for the ride, silently reminding her that he would always be there.

As she settled, her hand gently pushed his hair back and she sat up. Sonny was about to protest when she kissed him, sweet and softly as she settled herself on his lap. It was a quick motion and he was inside of her. She began to rock against him, feeling the waves of ecstasy crashing over her again and again.

Sonny held tight onto her hips, his rough hands on her smooth skin. He matched her, motion by motion until he was mumbling incoherently. Tightening his grip on her, his final thrust and he was spent.

Amanda fell to his chest, bathed in sweat as she tried to catch her breath. Even though they had sex a couple of times before, nothing felt as good as this time did. Maybe it was because Amanda was finally honest with herself and with Sonny.

They laid together on the couch, basking in the afterglow of their lovemaking. Sonny's fingers were gently tangled with hers and his other hand was smoothening down her hair as she laid on his chest.

"That was incredible," he said.

"You weren't so bad yourself," Amanda said with a sly smile that Sonny couldn't see.

"Did you mean what you said or was that in the heat of the moment?" Sonny asked.

Amanda lifted her head to look into his eyes. "I meant every word. I love you Sonny, I love you so much."

"You have no idea how much I love hearing you say that," Sonny whispered as he kissed her again. But when he pulled back, you could tell there was something on his mind. "What about Murphy?"

Amanda sighed. "He's asked me to dinner tomorrow night."

"I assume you're going?"

"I am."

"So was this one last hurrah?"

"No, Sonny, I'd like to think this is the start of something wonderful. I'm going to tell Declan tomorrow that he is too late."

"Didn't you try that already?"

"Yes but I also said that we were figuring things out. I know what I want, so now it's up to you."

Sonny was quiet and it almost made Amanda think the worst. Then he broke out into his signature goofy grin and wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I love you so much I can't even describe it. I think I have loved you from the moment I met you, but I never felt worthy of you. You are the most amazing woman Amanda Rollins and it is my honor to be with you."

Amanda laughed as she kissed Sonny one more time. "You really are weird, ya know that?"

"So what made you make this world changing decision?"

"Fin."

"Fin? He knows about us?"

"Yeah."

"How? I haven't said a word."

"I told him. He is my partner, he would've found out eventually."

"What about Liv?"

"She doesn't know. At least, I haven't told her yet."

"Do you want to?" Sonny asked, sitting up.

Amanda sat up too. "I think we should. I plan on telling Declan tomorrow at dinner and we should probably tell Liv first. But right now, I have to get home. Audrey has already stayed late and I need to get home to Jesse."

"I'll get dressed and take you," Sonny said, sliding off the couch and gathering his clothes.

Amanda looked at him and spoke softly, "Maybe you should grab some stuff and just stay with me."

Sonny paused in his movements and turned to look at her. "Do you want me to?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Then I'll be right back."

Sonny disappeared and Amanda began getting dressed. She was just finishing up with her boots when Sonny came back into the living room, overnight bag in his hand.

"Got everything you need? I'm not sure I'm ready to let you go yet," Amanda said, wrapping her arms around his torso.

"When I have you, I have everything I need," he said, kissing the top of her head and leading her out the door. For once, everything in Amanda's life seemed to be going great. Now, how long would it last?


	6. Chapter 6

The next morning, Amanda and Sonny went to work together. You would never have suspected they spent the night together by the way they acted but that was always Amanda's strength. Never let on to what someone might not know.

Sonny settled into his desk and Fin walked over to ask him about something. Amanda just kind of watched from the background as she took in the sight of the man she was proud to call hers. Sonny always showed his more reserved side at work, getting to sympathize with victims and build rapports with perps. But outside of work, Sonny had a different side to him, one reserved just for Amanda.

"Something wrong, Detective?" a voice said behind her. Amanda turned around to find Declan standing behind her, large bouquet of roses in his hand.

"Declan, what are you doing here?"

"I need to speak to Olivia about some things and I wanted to bring you these," he said, handing her the flowers. Out of the corner of her eye, Amanda saw Sonny sit up a little straighter as he witnessed the interaction.

"Declan, this is really unnecessary."

"I'm trying to show you what you mean to me, Amanda. I told you, I want to be with you and now that I'm back, I'm not giving up. We're meant to be together with our daughter."

Olivia stuck her head out of her office. "Lieutenant Murphy, I thought I heard you. Come in."

Declan took Amanda's hand, kissed the back of it and went into Olivia's office, shutting the door behind him. Amanda stood, shell shocked as to what had just happened. Fin walked over to her.

"You okay?"

"No. I need some air. Take these," she said absently as she thrusted the flowers at Fin and took off outside the door. Sonny followed her. He caught up with her on the fire escape outside the 6th floor.

"You okay?"

"No."

"What the hell was that about with Murphy?"

"That was Declan being Declan. He thinks he can buy my affection with cheap flowers and fancy dinners. It's not going to work."

"'Manda, you sure you're okay?"

She turned to see if anyone was watching before leaning in to hug Sonny. Amanda could feel his heartbeat, strong and steady beneath her cheek and found it gave her a warm feeling in her toes.

She turned to look up at him. "As long as you're here, I'm okay."

"Good. Let's get back upstairs."

Liv and Declan were in her office for over an hour. Every time Amanda heard footsteps, she would look to see if Declan was finally leaving.

When he did finally walk out, he smiled at her and winked before getting on the elevator. Liv came out of her office and looked in Amanda's direction.

"Rollins, my office now."

Amanda followed Liv inside and shut the door behind her. Liv stood by the window, not looking in Amanda's direction as she contemplated her thoughts. Finally Amanda broke the silence.

"Is everything okay?"

"You tell me? Were you ever planning on telling me about this relationship?"

Amanda's cheeks flushed. How had Liv found out about her and Sonny already?

"I was going to tell you…."

"Amanda, something like this isn't going to go unnoticed. We really need to be in front of things like this before 1PP gets wind."

"Do you think they're going to be mad?"

"Especially since you haven't disclosed until now, probably yeah."

"It just became official. I wanted to wait until it did before I disclosed."

"Well no need to worry about that now. Murphy is headed for 1PP to tell them now."

Now Amanda was confused. "Tell them what?"

"That you and he are in a romantic relationship."

Amanda's jaw fell open and she felt like she was made of Jell-O. Declan had told Liv that he was dating Amanda? But that wasn't true. And now he was going to tell 1PP?

"Murphy and I are not in a romantic relationship."

"Amanda, I know he's Jesse's father. I think we all know that."

"Yes, I had a brief relationship with Murphy and I got pregnant. But he and I are not in a relationship now. He wants to be…"

"But you don't?"

"No."

"Then why would he come tell me you were?"

"Because he wants to come back and be a family with me and Jesse but I told him he was too late."

"You're with someone else?"

Amanda's cheeks flushed again. "Yes," she all about whispered.

"Is it a cop?" Liv asked her tone a little softer.

"Yes."

"Is it someone from SVU?"

"Yes."

"Who is it, Amanda?"

Amanda's gaze flittered around the room. She did not want to look at Liv. "Sonny."

Liv appeared shocked. "You and Carisi?"

"Yeah."

"How long?"

"A little over 8 months."

"And you're just now telling me? Why?"

"We made it official and I was planning on telling Declan tonight at dinner."

"You're dating Carisi but going to dinner with Murphy?"

"Declan wants us to get back together but I told him I was figuring things out with someone else. Now that Sonny and I have figured things out, I need to tell Declan we have no chance of being together."

"I'd get ahead of this before it gets too much more out there. This whole fiasco is going to be a mess and I don't want to have to clean it up. Oh, and I'm going to need to speak with you and Carisi after you both get done talking to Dodds. That's an order. You can go now," Liv said, turning back to the window. Amanda took her cue and left.

She was fuming when she came out of Liv's office. Was this Declan's way to trying to get her back? It wasn't going to work. Amanda grabbed her coat and headed for the elevator. Sonny took notice and followed her.

"What's wrong?" he asked as they stepped into the elevator.

"Liv knows about us because I had to tell her it was you I was dating, not Murphy since Declan told her that he and I are in a romantic relationship and now he's on his way to 1PP to tell Dodds and all them," she said in a rush as she jabbed the lobby button.

Sonny's mouth hung open. "Murphy told Lieu that you guys are together?"

"Yeah so I had to tell her about me and you."

"What did she say?"

"We need to talk to her after we talk to Dodds."

The elevator reached the lobby and together they went to 1PP.


	7. Chapter 7

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS A FLASHBACK TO THE SONNY/AMANDA EARLY RELATIONSHIP. THE FLASHBACK IS IN ITALICS. iF YOU WOULD LIKE TO SEE MORE FLASHBACKS TO THE EARLY RELATIONSHIP, LET ME KNOW!**

Arriving at 1PP, Amanda was nervous. All her dirty laundry was about to be aired to all their superior officers; every little detail of how she had been drug through the mud. At least she had Sonny by her side to help ease the burden.

The first person they saw was Chief Dodds. After all that poor man had been through after losing his son, he still wanted to make the world a better place. He looked their way and noticed Amanda.

"Detective Rollins. I was just about to call SVU for you."

"Everything okay, Chief?"

"I suppose I should ask you that. Lieutenant Murphy is in my office, says he has something very important to discuss with me that concerns you."

"I know what he's about to tell you and it's not true, Chief."

"Oh?" Dodds said, looking surprised.

"Yes. Lieutenant Murphy is going to tell you that he and I are involved romantically and that's not true."

"Isn't he the father of your daughter?"

"Yes he is, but that was a long time ago. After he's brief run at SVU, he and I had a romantic relationship but it ended just about as fast as it began," Amanda began to explain.

"Would you rather do this in private Detective?" Dodds asked, gesturing towards Sonny.

"No, actually Detective Carisi is part of this too."

"Oh?"

"Yes."

"Let's go in here, shall we?" Dodds asked, leading them to a conference room. Sonny and Amanda followed him inside and he closed the door. He gestured for them to sit and they did.

"Would you like to start at the beginning Detective Rollins?"

Sonny could see Amanda was nervous so he volunteered to go first. As he began to explain the strange circumstances, Amanda thought back to how it all did begin between her and Sonny.

 _A few weeks into her maternity leave, Amanda had met with Carisi for lunch and coffee. It was nice to get out of the apartment and be reminded that she was still something else besides a mother._

 _Carisi was telling her yet again more unneeded baby facts when Jesse began to fuss. Sighing, Amanda thought for sure Carisi would make some excuse to leave. But he surprised her – he handed her his coffee cup and picked up the whimpering child. He began to bounce his knees and instantly, Jesse quieted down. Amanda began to look at Carisi differently after that._

 _A week later, he was at her apartment and helping her to interview babysitters for Jesse. While Amanda seemed more critical of everyone she met, Carisi was being his warm and charming self. A little green monster appeared when a natural born Italian woman showed up to interview and was flirting with Carisi once she found out they were mere co-workers. Needless to say, Amanda ended that interview quickly. Just as she was about to give up her search, Carisi urged her to try one more and that's how she found Audrey._

 _Amanda was so taken with Audrey, she hired her on the spot and for the first time since Jesse had been born, Amanda let them go on a small walk around the block. For the first time in almost 9 weeks, Amanda was alone without her baby…and with Carisi._

" _Thanks for helping me," Amanda had said._

" _Anytime. Audrey seems like a great fit," Sonny replied._

" _She sure does. I'm glad you talked me into trying one more. What would I do without you?" Amanda asked as she leaned in to hug him. Carisi wrapped his arms around her and gave a gentle squeeze. Amanda couldn't help herself; she leaned up and pecked him on the lips._

" _Oh, sorry about that," Amanda began stammering. Carisi was purely flattered._

" _Nothing to apologize for," Carisi said with a smile._

 _Fast forward to one of the many nights when Amanda couldn't get Jesse to sleep and who shows up at her door but Carisi? He comes bearing pizza and beer and his incessant way of getting Jesse to soothe. Within minutes the tiny 3 month old baby is asleep and Amanda is feeling pretty good. This is also the first time she calls him Sonny._

 _He's been rambling on and on about his older sister Theresa and how she was a wreck when she had her first kid. Then he starts in about Bella and her baby daughter. Amanda couldn't take it anymore._

" _You know, you talk a lot when you're drinking Sonny," she said as she took a sip of her beer._

" _Did you just call me Sonny?" he asked._

 _Amanda thought for a minute. "Yeah, I guess I did."_

" _What took you so long?"_

" _What's taking you so long?" she counters._

" _With what?" he asked surprised._

" _To kiss me," she says before leaning in and kissing him. This isn't at all like that little peck all those weeks ago, this is a full on lip to lip kiss and Sonny needs no encouragement._

 _He meets her mouth like it was the most natural thing in the world. There was a heat to his actions and his hands. She leaned into him, pressing her body into his as she pushes him back onto the couch. He wants this as much as she does, but not tonight._

" _Amanda, wait."_

" _What's wrong?" she asked._

" _As much as I want you, this wouldn't be right. We've both been drinking and…."_

" _I get it, Sonny. I want you too but I want us both to enjoy this. Being the good Catholic boy you are, you won't enjoy this if you think you're taking advantage of me."_

" _You know me so well," Sonny chuckled._

" _Not as well as I'd like to," Amanda purred to him. He pulled her back for another searing kiss. His hands caressed her body and she sighed. "Are you sure we can't do this tonight?"_

" _Not tonight, but soon. You can bet on that," Sonny said with a smile._

 _He was true to his words, within the week Sonny had taken her on a proper date and everything was wonderful. He took her to a Chinese restaurant and treated her like a princess. Everything was perfect; she could never have dreamed a date could be so romantic. And since Jesse was in the much capable hands of Audrey, they went back to his place._

"Detective Rollins?"

Dodds' voice brought Amanda back to the present and she snapped to attention.

"Yes?"

"Detective Carisi has explained his account of events. Would you like to share yours?"

Amanda looked at Sonny, glad he was by her side. Underneath the table, she slid her hand on his thigh before looking back at Dodds.

"Detective Carisi and I grew closer on my maternity leave but it was well after my daughter was born before anything happened. Since then, we have not let this relationship interfere with our work. But this relationship really only became official last night and first thing this morning, I informed Lieutenant Benson of it."

"Was that before or after Lieutenant Murphy told Lieutenant Benson of the 'relationship' he believes you are in?"

"It was after but that's only because Lieutenant Murphy was in Benson's office before I could. Once he left, I disclosed to Benson."

Dodds leaned back in his chair. He seemed to be evaluating the young detectives in front of him and Amanda felt Sonny squeeze her hand.

"Of course I will have to inform Senior Chief Simmons about this, but I feel as long as you can keep it out of the office, we should have no cause to move either of you at this time. SVU is already stretched pretty thin and to move either of you because of this relationship is unnecessary at this point. However, I will let you discuss this with Lieutenant Murphy. Excuse me," Dodds said, standing up and leaving the room. Amanda turned to look at Sonny.

"Did that just happen?"

Sonny was as shocked as Amanda. "I think it did."

"Are you okay with this?"

"I'm not too thrilled to be having this conversation with Murphy."

"But at least we get to be together."

"Yeah, there's that," Sonny said, taking Amanda's hand and kissing the back of it.

The door burst open and Declan sauntered in, looking all high and mighty as he glared at Sonny.

"You're seriously with this clown of a cop?" Declan spat at Amanda.

"Watch it," Sonny warned but Declan didn't even hear him. He was too focused on Amanda and how she had led him on.

"Declan, I never said I was going to be with you. I told you I was figuring things out with someone else."

"You should've said it was him," Declan said, casting an angry glance at Sonny. Amanda kept her cool.

"This has nothing to do with him. Declan, I told you before that you didn't owe me anything and we would be fine on our own. Now I've done a damn good job with Jesse and things are starting to get good now…"

"So what did he have to say to get you in the sack?" Declan interrupted.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?" Amanda asked, taken aback.

"You need to watch your tone," Sonny said, stepping in front of Amanda.

"Who the hell do you think you are coming in and playing daddy with my kid?" Declan asked, really getting in Sonny's face.

"Nobody is replacing you as Jesse's father but I'm with Amanda now and you need to watch how you speak to a lady."

"Like she's much of a lady," Declan snorted and that was it. Sonny had enough.

"Come on Amanda, let's get out of here before I do something I'm going to regret," Sonny said, putting an arm around her.

"Oh like this?" Declan asked as he twirled Sonny around and took him square in the jaw. Sonny dropped to the ground and Amanda went to his side.

"Sonny!"

"What a chump, can't even handle a punch," Declan said.

"What kind of man throws a sucker punch because he couldn't get a real shot?" Amanda countered. "Get out of here Declan, before I call IAB."

"This isn't over Amanda, you can count on that," Declan declared as he walked out of the room.

"Are you okay?" Amanda asked Sonny.

"What did you ever see in that guy?" Sonny asked, sitting up and rubbing his jaw.

"Nothing compared to what I see in you. Come on, let's get you some ice. I'm calling Liv and telling her I'm taking you home."

Amanda helped Sonny to his feet and together they left the building. She got him in the passenger seat and called Liv. She was surprisingly understanding about it, but Amanda suspected that Fin probably talked to her after they had left. Amanda got behind the wheel and headed for Sonny's place. He was going to need some TLC this afternoon and she was just the 'nursemaid' to give it to him.


	8. Chapter 8

A few days after their confrontation with Murphy, Sonny and Amanda were out to dinner at this new trendy spot that had just opened. Although Declan had told Amanda things weren't over, she hadn't heard anything from him since that day.

"Thanks for dinner," she told Sonny, interlacing their fingers.

"Anything for you. Next time, we should bring Jesse."

"I think Jesse is still a little young for fusion cuisine, but I'm certainly game," Amanda said with a smile.

"Glad to hear it," Sonny said squeezing her hand. He paid the check and they left the restaurant. Walking hand in hand down the street, Amanda kept getting a weird feeling. Sonny noticed.

"Something wrong?"

"I feel like someone is following us."

"You've just been a cop for too long."

"Are you patronizing me?"

"Maybe."

"Well stop," Amanda said with a chuckle. Sonny wrapped his arm around her just a little tighter.

"No worries. I will protect you."

"Thanks but I can protect myself."

"I know, but I like offering," he said.

"Thank you."

Just then, someone went by on a bicycle and flung something at Sonny and Amanda. They tried to duck but it hit Sonny in the back.

"What the hell was that? Did you see who it was?" Sonny asked.

"No. Are you okay?" Amanda asked.

"Fine. But what is that smell?"

Amanda turned to look at Sonny's back. She gasped.

"That's a bag of shit."

"Excuse me?"

"I'd know that smell anywhere. That's dog shit."

"Why would someone throw that at us?"

"I can only think of one reason."

Sonny looked into her eyes. "Murphy?"

"Has to be."

"But he's been radio silent for days. Why come after us now?"

"I don't think they were aiming for me. I think he's coming after you."

"What did I do?"

"Easy – you took me and Jesse from him. What better way to hurt me than to hurt you?"

"Well it's going to take more than dog shit to scare me. But now I have to get this coat dry cleaned."

"Let's go home," Amanda said, taking his hand again. They continued to her apartment without any further incidents and Sonny paid Audrey while Amanda checked on Jesse.

As she watched her baby sleep, Amanda couldn't help but wonder about Declan. Could he really be this petty as to throw crap on Sonny while they were walking down the street? Could he really be this jealous over nothing? And if he really could do this, what would he do next?

A few days later, Sonny was sitting with Jesse on the couch while Amanda cleaned up the kitchen. They had a rule in this house – if Sonny cooked, Amanda cleaned. That was only fair. Tonight Sonny had made them his mother's famous lasagna. Okay, maybe it was only famous in Staten Island, but to Sonny it was the best lasagna ever.

Amanda was just walking into the living room when Sonny's cell rang. She scooped up Jesse while he answered.

"Detective Carisi."

" _Dominick? This is Charlie, your super. Listen, I've got some pizza guy here with like 20 pies saying you ordered them and now you owe him $112._ "

"What?"

" _Yeah, I really need you to come deal with this. These pies are stinking up the hallways. Who the hell orders liver and onion pizza anyways?_ "

Charlie hung up and Sonny looked at Amanda.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Someone just delivered 20 pizzas to my place and wants $112."

"Why would someone do that?"

"I don't know but Charlie is freakin' out. I gotta get over there."

"Go. Just let me know when you get there."

"I will. Love you."

"Love you," Amanda said as she kissed him. Sonny headed out the door and Amanda watched him from the window as he hailed a cab. Once the cab was gone, Amanda put Jesse down for the night and settled on the couch to watch some bad reality TV.

She had just gotten into the _Real Housewives of Beverly Hills_ when Sonny called.

"Hello?"

" _So in addition to the pizza, some Chinese delivery guy just showed up and says I order 10 pounds of Moo Shu Pork._ "

"What is going on?"

" _I don't know but this has Murphy written all over it._ "

"Why would Declan do something so juvenile?"

" _Who else would, 'Manda?_ "

"Maybe someone that you've questioned in the past? Not all suspects have been guilty you know."

" _Yeah, maybe. Listen, I gotta take care of all this and I probably won't make it back over tonight. I'll see you in the morning at work, okay?_ "

"Okay. Be careful."

" _I will. Bye._ " Amanda hung up, made sure all her doors were locked and went to sleep.

The next morning, after leaving Jesse with Audrey and explicit instructions to call her if anything weird happened, Amanda walked to work. It was a nice sunny morning and Amanda missed walking in with Sonny, so she made a point to stop at his favorite coffee shop and get him his usual.

About a block away from the precinct, Declan Murphy stepped out in front of her.

"Declan? What the hell do you want?"

"Is that any way to greet the father of your child?"

"Get real Declan. Are you doin' all this shit to Sonny?"

"What happened to Carisi?"

"Someone threw dog shit at him. Someone ordered a bunch of take out and had it delivered to his place. Someone seems to be going to an awful lot of trouble to make his life miserable."

"Oh poor baby. We're NYPD. There's bound to be people in the world that hate us. Probably someone he roughed up in the past."

"Sonny doesn't 'rough' people up, that's you or have you forgotten the time you pistol whipped him?"

"He was UC then."

"You didn't know that."

"I had to do what I had to do to make that case."

"Whatever. I'm going to be late."

"Wait, Amanda. Look, I hate how this all went down but I am here and I would like to see Jesse. Isn't her birthday coming up soon? I want to be there. I am her dad. Can we just get together and talk me and you? No Carisi, just us? Does it really have to be like this between us?"

"Does it have to be this way, Declan? You were the one who sucker punched Sonny because you found out I was with him. You're the one who acted like a spoiled child who didn't get his way. Can you be a mature adult about things?"

"Of course. Look, I was pissed off and I had a right to be. But I can be the bigger person and let bygones be bygones. So can we talk?"

Amanda thought about it. Maybe she and Declan could have a calm and rational discussion about Jesse, as long as it was public and on neutral ground. It bugged her that he didn't want Sonny to be there, but if they were going to get on the same page about Jesse, maybe it needed to be this way. Besides, she would tell him about it as soon as she got to work.

"When?"

"How about Thursday night at Watson's? Maybe I can meet you around 6, after you get off work?"

"That should work. But this needs to be about Jesse, Declan, not us."

"It is."

"Fine, I will see you Thursday." Amanda continued on her way to work and when she arrived, Sonny was already there. His soiled coat had been dry cleaned and was now hanging up on his hook. He was having a good hair day, so all seemed right with the world.

She walked over and set the cup on his desk.

"For you."

He looked up. "Thanks! I'm sorry about last night."

"It happens. Any more food deliveries?"

"Nope. I think I got everything squared away with Charlie too. So how about tonight, we go to dinner; you, me and Jesse."

"Sounds good. Listen, I wanted to tell you something."

"What's that?" Sonny said in his lawyer-y voice.

"I ran into Declan this morning."

"Of course you did. He probably did it on purpose."

"Maybe but he's asked if we can sit down and discuss Jesse's birthday, just me and him."

"And?"

"I told him yes. We're meeting Thursday evening at Watson's after work."

"I don't like the sound of this. Something seems fishy."

"You don't trust me?"

"Of course I trust you, I don't trust him."

"That's why it's a public location and close to work. Besides, I will call you the minute I get home and we can talk all about it."

Sonny appeared slightly hurt, which was to be expected but he nodded his head. This was best for Jesse after all and he loved that little girl.

"Okay, I get it 'Manda. Just be careful, please."

"You know me."

"Yeah so be extra careful."

Amanda scoffed, pretending to be hurt as she walked to her desk. But she did see Sonny smile so she wasn't offended.


	9. Chapter 9

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I KNOW THIS CHAPTER WAS AWFUL FOR ME TO WRITE BUT ITS SUCH AN INTERGAL PART OF THE STORY. PLEASE DON'T HATE ME FOR WHAT I'VE DONE TO OUR FAVORITE COUPLE!**

Thursday rolled around and Amanda had to admit, she was nervous about meeting with Declan that night. Everything should be fine, they were just two mature adults discussing their daughter, it happens every day right? Then why was her stomach in knots?

Sonny had offered to take her to lunch and she couldn't stand to eat anything. She was just too nervous. Thankfully nothing else had happened with Sonny in the past three days so Amanda assumed that when she told Declan to stop, he did.

"You sure you don't want a bite of this?" Sonny asked as he held the chicken parm sub in front of her.

"No thanks. I'm way too nervous for tonight."

"You have every right to be. Murphy is probably going to spend all night beggin' you to come back to him."

"Sonny, not everything Declan does is a power play."

"You sure about that?" Sonny asked as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"No."

"Exactly."

"Sonny Carisi?" a voice said behind them. Amanda turned to see a leggy and well-endowed woman standing behind them with long blonde hair.

"Sadie? Is that you?" Sonny asked, standing up to greet the woman. Amanda stayed in her seat.

"Of course baby. Haven't seen you since I left the Island, you know how it is," Sadie said, leaning in and kissing his cheek with a little too much enthusiasm for Amanda's taste. She cleared her throat.

"Oh, I'm such a dunce. Sadie, this is Amanda Rollins. 'Manda, this is Sadie Morelli."

"Nice to meet you Amanda," Sadie said.

"Yeah you too," Amanda said curtly.

"Ya know, I've been meanin' to call ya Sonny. I really miss ya," Sadie said as she teased her finger down Sonny's chest.

"Whoa, Sadie. It's not like that anymore. I'm with Amanda," Sonny said as he stood next to Amanda's chair.

"Too bad. We coulda had some real fun, like we used to. No one ever gave me such pleasure like you did," Sadie said with a seductive smile.

"Seriously? He just told you we're together and you're still hitting on him?" Amanda said, finally finding her voice and standing up.

"Everyone always comes back to Sadie, darlin'. Sonny ain't no different."

"Sadie, not here, come on," Sonny said.

"Look, I gotta run. Enjoy the reunion," Amanda said as she fled the restaurant. Sonny called after her but Sadie had stopped him from going after her.

Amanda held herself tight as she walked down the street. Was she really that stupid? Years of dating had told her that men were pigs, they were dogs. Different breeds but same goal. But Sonny was supposed to be different. Had she misjudged him? Clearly he was more acquainted with this Sadie woman than she would've liked, but Sonny knew all about Amanda's past. They had talked about it repeatedly. But Sonny had never mentioned anyone from his past.

Of course Amanda didn't think he had lived like a monk, he was a man after all and men have needs and urges. But he should've shared something about his past with her. What else was he keeping from her?

Amanda strolled into Watson's Bar and sat at the counter. It might have only been 3:30pm but as far as she was concerned, the workday was over.

"Whiskey neat," she said to the bartender and he sat the glass of amber liquid in front of her. She knocked back the first one and raised her finger to indicate a second. For the first time in a long time, she was driven by the urge to gamble. She had worked hard to suppress the urge but the sight of that woman with her hands all over Sonny was pushing her to the limit.

When Declan walked into the bar at 6:00pm, he heard a familiar laugh. When he looked at the bar, he saw familiar blonde hair as it bounced around. He walked up to Amanda.

"Hey darlin'."

Amanda whirled around. "Hey it's my boss! Oh, I mean my old boss! I mean my ex-lover! What the hell are you anyways, Declan?"

"How much have you had to drink, Amanda?"

"I've lost count," she slurred.

"When did you get here?"

"Little while ago."

"Dude, she's been here for at least 2 hours, but boy ain't she fun when she's drinking," the bartender said to Declan.

"What's she drinking?"

"Whiskey."

Declan remembered this well. The night Jesse was conceived, he and Amanda had shared a bottle of whiskey together. Maybe this was the help he needed to get her back. Carisi wouldn't be able to handle her like this, but Declan already knew how.

"Come on darlin'," Declan said as he led Amanda to a table in the back of the bar. He flagged down a waitress and asked her to bring a bottle of whiskey for the table. If his plan could work, it might be all that he needed.

It didn't take too much into the bottle before Amanda could barely walk. She was sitting in Declan's lap, his hands loosely on her hips. Before she could stop it from happening, Declan was kissing her neck.

"You like this darlin'?" he asked.

"Mmhmm."

He rubbed his hands on her thighs and Amanda began to purr like a kitten.

"Wanna get out of here?" he whispered into her ear.

"Sure," she slurred and Declan had to help her up. He practically had to drag her out of the bar and even then, they didn't get far. Declan pushed her against the brick wall of the alley and began attacking her neck again. He pulled her shirt off her shoulders as his hand went under her shirt to her bra strap.

As full of alcohol as she was, Amanda just stood there. She was vaguely aware that she was with a man but for all she knew, it was Sonny and he just couldn't wait to have her. Amanda loved when Sonny got impatient like that, the fire that burned in his eyes made her go weak in the knees.

"Oh, Sonny," Amanda whimpered. Declan froze for a minute but continued on his mission. He was going to make her forget all about Carisi.

When they were done and Declan was zipping his pants, did Amanda finally look up into his eyes. Expecting to see Sonny's blue ones shining back at her, she found green ones that she had seen so long ago. That was when she realized what had happened and who it had happened with.

"What the hell did I do?" she cried as she slid to the ground. Declan didn't even offer to help her up.

"You did what you wanted; obviously Carisi ain't satisfying you if this was all it took. And you know now that we're meant to be together. We fit so well, Amanda. Just look at what we just did."

"What we just did was a mistake."

"You didn't say no."

"No I didn't, but working in SVU this long has taught me I didn't have too. I was drunk."

"You were the night we made Jesse too."

"Oh God!" Amanda didn't even think of that. "Please tell me you at least wore a condom?"

"Sorry darlin', didn't have one on me."

"Great. Now I have to get the morning after pill."

"Probably won't work with all that alcohol in your system."

"Shit!" What was she going to do now?

"So when are you gonna tell Carisi that it's over?" Declan asked, eager to get the Italian out of Amanda and Jesse's lives.

Amanda looked at him, square in the eye. There was no mistaking the raging fire that burned within them. "I'm not telling Sonny that it's over. I love him. I made a mistake and I hope to hell he will forgive me for it.

As for you, I never want to see you again. You are nothing to me anymore. I thought we might have been able to be adults for Jesse's sake but to take advantage when you knew I was not clearly in a place to object is just wrong."

"What are you gonna do then, report me to IAB? To Olivia? Nobody will believe you."

"The only person that matters is whether or not Sonny believes me. Now go. I'm done with you." With that, Amanda turned on her heel, wobbled slightly from the alcohol and went to the curb to hail a cab.

Once tucked safely inside the yellow car, she wanted so badly to go to Sonny and beg his forgiveness. She knew that he always found in his heart to believe even the worst of people but would he believe her when she tells him of this huge mistake, that she had sex with Declan in some dirty alley because she was jealous of someone from his past? Would he kick her to the curb or would he rally around her, making her feel safe and loved again? Would he still want her?


	10. Chapter 10

Friday morning, Amanda was in bed. When she had gotten home the night before, she told Audrey she wasn't feeling well. Audrey offered to take Jesse overnight so Amanda could get some rest, but Amanda said that wasn't necessary. Audrey did say she would be by first thing in the morning and would be taking Jesse out for the day so Amanda could rest if she still wasn't feeling well.

So here it was, 10am and Amanda was in bed. She didn't even have the guts to call into work, so she texted Liv instead. The reply was short but formal with hopes Amanda would feel up to coming in on Monday.

She was avoiding everyone and for good reason. After all she and Sonny had been through, she couldn't bear to look into his eyes and for him to see her deceit. She knew Fin would be disappointed in her for reacting the way she did with Sonny yesterday and most of all, she knew Liv would think this was another world class Amanda Rollins mistake. She couldn't bear the guilt that came with her decision about last night.

A knock on her door brought her out of her thoughts. Was it Fin or was it Sonny? She knew once the guys heard she wasn't coming in; one of them would be at her door. She padded barefoot through the living room and peeked through the peephole. It was Sonny.

Amanda opened the door. "Hi," she said meekly.

"Hey. Missed ya at work this morning. You feeling okay? Everything go okay last night, you never called. I know you're probably mad over the whole Sadie thing and I promise ya, 'Manda, I was gonna tell ya about her but I never expected to see her again," he rambled on like he was nervous.

Amanda didn't say a word, she just wandered back into the apartment and Sonny came in behind her. When she sat on the couch, she noticed he had a paper bag in his hand. He saw her looking at it.

"It's soup, my ma's recipe. Some of the best in the world and perfect for making you your old self again," he said as he set the bag on the coffee table. Amanda still wouldn't look at him. Sonny sat down beside her.

"I know you're pissed at me and ya got every right to be but can ya at least talk to me?"

"Sonny, you can't be here right now," she said in a small voice resembling a child. She still couldn't look at him.

"'Manda, I love you and I want to make you feel better."

"Nothing is going to make me feel better."

"Why, what's wrong?"

"I can't tell you, you're going to hate me."

"I could never hate ya, 'Manda. I love you."

"You won't after you know."

"After I know what?"

Amanda took a deep breath. She finally looked into Sonny's warm and caring blue eyes. They were full of love and adoration. "Something happened last night."

"With Murphy?"

"Yeah."

"He spent all night trying to convince you to go back to him?"

"Not exactly."

"Then what?"

"We slept together."

Sonny was silent. He got up from the couch and began pacing the small living room. Amanda could see he was trying to control his anger, but there was something more than that. She could see the hurt within him. To him, Amanda had betrayed him. Amanda had destroyed everything they were working towards – being a family with Jesse and having a life together.

Sonny must've paced for at least half an hour without a word. Amanda couldn't take the silence anymore. He needed to yell at her or something.

"Sonny, say something."

"For once, I'm speechless. Actually no, I have lots of questions. How, why, when, where?"

"Are you sure you really want to know?"

"No but I think I need to. Why did this happen? I thought we had a really good thing here."

"We do, I don't really know why this happened. I know I was feeling jealous because of Sadie and I went to the bar early and started drinking. I had to have been there for a while before Declan showed up. Then we went to a table, he got another bottle of whiskey and before I really knew what was going on, we were outside."

"So you brought him back here? Had sex with him in the bed we make love in?"

"No, it was in an alley near the bar. I can only remember bits and pieces but I thought it was you."

"Yeah, cause Murphy and I look so much alike," Sonny said with a snort. He was not amused.

"No, I thought it was you because I would never want to be with anyone but you. Nobody has ever cared about me or wanted me like you do. Most of the time, guys are only interested in the broken Amanda. Nobody wants to take the time and muddle through the crap in my past to get to a future with me; Nick didn't, Nate didn't, Declan didn't. They all just wanted to Amanda they had to save because who doesn't love being a knight in shining armor? But you're not like that. You love me for who I am, you feel my past doesn't define me but makes me who I am."

"I've always thought that about you. You're such a strong woman and I've never met anyone with the resilience you have. Well, maybe my ma, but that's not something to talk about right now."

"Is there anything else you want to know about last night?" Amanda asked, feeling the pit in her stomach starting to go away.

"Did you want to have sex with him? Cause if ya didn't, then he raped ya."

"I didn't say no but I did have a lot to drink. Declan did too but I doubt it was as much as I did."

"So he raped ya."

"I wouldn't go that far. It was definitely a mistake and I told him that once I realized what had happened. I told him I never wanted to see him again and I only want you. If you'll still have me," she added in that small child voice again.

Sonny just looked at her. As much as he wanted to take her in his arms and tell her everything would be alright, something still nagged at him. He really thought they were at the point in their relationship that they could talk their problems out. He had to wonder if that was the only mistake she had made last night.

"What else happened last night?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you gamble last night?"

"No. I wanted too, thought about leaving the bar and going to the nearest casino about 10 times. But every time I went to get up, Jesse's face came to mind, yours too. I knew if I went back down that rabbit hole, I would never get out. I couldn't do that to Jesse or to you."

"But you could sleep with Murphy?"

"Sonny, it wasn't like I planned on that happening. I can make all the excuses I want but in the end, I acted like a child. I was jealous of Sadie and rather than being an adult and talking about it, I just went off the deep end into a whiskey bottle.

Declan knew that and he used that to his advantage. Again, I wouldn't say he raped me because I don't really believe he did but he definitely knew that I was drunk and probably an easy mark. He was probably counting on getting me drunk and getting me in bed."

"So where do we go from here? I told you before that I love you and I want to be with you and Jesse, but how do we get past this?" he asked her, sounding almost defeated.

"I don't know. I love you too and thought this could be the forever kind of thing. I never really thought about having that before but with you, it was different and now I've fucked it all up."

"It wasn't your fault; Murphy knew what he was doing. I still think you should press charges or at least tell IAB."

"I can't do that to him, he'd lose his shield. Declan is a good cop, he just saw an easy opening."

"He's a user and a manipulator."

"Yeah he is."

"But is he gone?"

"I told him I never want to see him again. If I have to get a restraining order, I will."

"What about Jesse?"

"He's never really spent time with her and he's never seen her in person. One day I will have to explain to her about him, but right now he's nobody to her."

"She needs a father."

"I know, I was a Daddy's girl and I always hoped Jesse would be too. But Declan isn't right to fill that role in her life."

"Then I will."

"What are you talking about?" Amanda asked.

"Jesse needs a father and I'm willing to be that for her. I want her to grow up with better, more positive influences in her life. My family is better than anything Declan could give her."

"Sonny, I can't ask you to do that."

"'Manda, I want to do this. You know I love that little girl and I would be proud to be her father."

"Sonny, I'm not ready for marriage, you know that right?"

"'Manda, I would marry you in a heartbeat."

"Marriage was never something I could see myself doing. I know you and your sisters grew up differently than I did but my parents' marriage was a sham from the get-go. I don't think they every really loved each other. My mother probably just saw someone else to take care of her when she met my dad. I don't want Jesse growing up like that, thinking she needs a man to take care of her because that's the example I set for her. She needs to grow up to be strong and independent."

"I know all this but what does this mean for us?"

"Can you find it in your heart to forgive me for what happened last night?" she asked.

"Again, what happened last night was not your fault."

"So are we still together?"

"You really think I would leave you over something like this?"

"Anybody else would."

"I'm not just anybody. I'm me, Sonny, the man who is completely crazy in love with you."

"Thank you," she said, sliding next to him and wrapping her arms around him.

"For what?"

"For being you."


	11. Chapter 11

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: THIS CHAPTER IS NSFW, BUT AFTER WHAT SONNY AND AMANDA HAVE BEEN THROUGH, I THINK THEY DESERVE IT. DON'T WORRY, I HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN ABOUT OUR OLD PAL DECLAN.**

Sonny spent the rest of Friday with Amanda. He had called Liv and told her he was taking a personal day to take care of her. They basically spent the whole day cuddled up together on the couch. When Audrey got home, she graciously offered to watch Jesse so Sonny and Amanda could go out.

Sonny took Amanda to his place. She had worn a simple navy button up, black skirt and navy heels. Her hair was in loose tresses, half pinned up. Sonny was still wearing his work suit but he had removed his jacket and rolled up his sleeves once they got inside so he could prepare their dinner.

He made her dinner, Chicken Carbonara with a tangy red wine. The aromas that filled the studio apartment were intoxicating as they sat at the table and enjoyed each other's company. They talked about Jesse, work and finally things with Declan.

"I wonder what he'll try next," Sonny commented, taking a bite of pasta.

"Does it matter? He's done the worst possible thing he could do and it still didn't break us apart," Amanda said as she sipped her wine.

"Nothing could ever tear us apart. I love you, 'Manda."

"I love you too Sonny."

He leaned over and took her hand. He kissed the back of it, his lips lingering on her smooth skin. He turned her hand over and kissed the inside of her wrist.

"Maybe we should continue this somewhere more comfortable," Amanda whispered. Sonny took the hint, left the dishes on the table and led Amanda to his couch; that same couch where a few weeks ago they become a couple.

Together they sat and Sonny wrapped his arms around Amanda.

"You know how much I love you?" he asked.

"Why don't you show me?" she suggested, her tone low and seductive.

He kissed her softly, his fingers tracing feather lite patterns down her neck and into the curve of her breasts. He leaned into her, pressing his tall, lean frame into her body and back against the couch seat. He moved his lips to the soft spot behind her ear and Amanda shivered.

"You like that?" he asked, the Staten Island as thick as ever.

"Mmhmm."

He continued teasing her skin beneath his lips. She wiggled and squirmed beneath his touch. His hand slid down her body, caressing her as she unbuttoned her shirt. He raised up and gently pulled the blouse from her body.

Sonny reached around and unclipped her bra, pulling the black lacy fabric from her body before he reached out and cupped it gently with his hand. His thumb reached out and brushed across her hardened nipple.

"You are so beautiful," he whispered to her before kissing a trail down her neck to her chest. His mouth closed around her nipple, flicking it with his tongue.

"Oh God Sonny," she moaned, her eyes closing in anticipation. He teased her, making her tingle down to her toes. Amanda wriggled beneath him, eager to get to her final destination.

His hand reached down and went beneath her skirt, leaving goosebumps in its wake. He encountered the lacy fabric covering her and pulled it down her legs.

"I need you now Sonny," Amanda whimpered.

He fought the button on his slacks, getting them open and down his legs. With one swift movement he was inside of her, holding on for dear life. They rocked together in a steady motion, all moves deliberate to spring that aching coil burning deep inside.

Amanda could feel it all coming at once. Her breathing began to quicken as Sonny increased his thrusts. Amanda cried out, feeling herself tightening around him as his moans became incoherent. With one final thrust, he came too.

Coming down from her high, Amanda began to catch her breath. She looked at Sonny, her fingertips grazing his temples as his shaking subsided. She looked deep into his blue eyes, she could see the love there and it was all for her. She gently kissed his forehead.

"I really do love you, you know that right?" she whispered to him. Sonny just looked at her.

"I know. Why are you askin'?"

"Cause the whole thing with Declan; if I had known it was him, I never would've done it."

"I know that 'Manda. Murphy took advantage of you and he knew that. He was looking for anyway he could to come between us but obviously it didn't work. I meant it when I said I love you and I meant it when I said I want to be with you and Jesse. I meant it when I said I would be her father. You should know me by now that I don't say things I don't mean."

"I do and I love you too."

Sonny rested his head on her chest and felt her heart beating under his ear. He could feel her love for him stronger than ever. Nothing Declan Murphy could ever do would come between them.


	12. Chapter 12

One month later, Sonny was carrying another box into Amanda's apartment. She certainly had gone overboard on buying things for the baby's first birthday but she was allowed to spoil her. After all, Jesse was her only child and if her mother couldn't spoil her than who could?

"Think ya bought enough stuff?" Sonny asked.

"Well that box has the plates, cups, napkins, silverware and streamers," Amanda said, absently as she was feeding Jesse a jar of baby food. Ever since the mistake with Declan, Amanda and Sonny had been almost inseparable. Almost every night, he was with her and Jesse at their apartment and on the rare nights he couldn't come over, Amanda bundled Jesse up to take her to Sonny's.

"She's only a year old, 'Manda. She won't even remember all this stuff," Sonny said, putting the box on the counter.

"But we'll know and I want everything to be perfect. She's my baby, Sonny."

"I know. I love her too."

"I know you do," Amanda said, smiling back at him over her shoulder.

"Have you heard anything from you know who?" Sonny asked casually as he leaned against the counter.

"Not a word. I'm hoping he finally took what I said to heart and is going to leave now. There's no reason for him to stick around the city anymore. I definitely don't want him around Jesse and there's no hope for a relationship between us, platonic or otherwise."

"That doesn't mean he's gone. He could just be planning his next form of attack."

"Sonny, I know you're mad because you think I should've reported him to IAB, but I think he finally gets it now. What happened was a complete and total mistake and he knows that I love you."

"Have you thought about terminating his rights?"

"Technically, he doesn't have any," Amanda said quietly. Sonny just stared at her.

"Excuse me?"

"I never put Declan on the birth certificate. The birth certificate reads Amanda Rollins as mother and Unknown as father. The only way for him to get rights would be to file a paternity test in court but then he would have to explain where the hell he's been the last year of her life."

"Does Murphy know this?"

"I don't think so. I was planning on telling him but we never got around to having that talk he said he wanted. Hey, you don't think that he planned that whole disaster, do you?" Amanda asked.

"What, he tracked down an ex of mine to throw you into a jealous rage so you'd get drunk at some bar? So that he could come in and rap-take advantage of you?" Sonny quickly edited his statement.

"With Declan, I fear anything is possible. But as long as he stays away from me and Jesse, I will be fine. We have you, we don't need him."

"Glad to hear it," Sonny said, walking over and kissing the top of her head. He smiled down at the almost one-year-old and kissed the top of her head too. "Love you Jesse."

The next morning, Amanda was sick. No, not sick, more like hurling her guts out in the bathroom at the squad room. Everything had come on so suddenly. One minute she was laughing and joking with Fin and Sonny, the next she was running for the women's room and dropping to her knees in front of the porcelain bowl.

She heard a door open behind her.

"Amanda?" she heard Liv's voice.

"I'm fine Liv, probably just some bad leftovers last night or something."

"Amanda, can we talk?"

"Yeah, just a minute." Amanda flushed the toilet and walked out of the stall. She went to the sink to rinse her mouth out and then turned to look at Liv. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry."

"Excuse me?" Amanda asked, not quite sure she heard right.

"I know I've been tough on you since you came to SVU and I know I didn't handle it well when I found out about you and Carisi, but I have to say that you have held up your end of the arrangement."

"What arrangement?"

"You haven't let your personal relationship affect the job. Carisi hasn't either. You've both been able to keep your personal lives and professional lives separate. So I wanted to apologize for being so tough. You know, it's hard being a woman in our profession. Most people think only men should be cops, detectives especially and when we have to work twice as hard to just subsist, we really should stick together. Not many people can understand the job we do, nobody deals with the scum we do. So I'm asking to see if we can maybe start over, be friends?"

Amanda just stared at her boss; the brunette detective was like Amanda's idol. Everyone knew that Olivia Benson was one of the best SVU detectives in all of New York State; she always felt a personal connection with the victims they dealt with. Everyone wanted to be like Olivia Benson. When Amanda had first come to SVU, she had heard all the stories about Liv and her old partner, Elliot Stabler. Those two were the SVU dream team. Amanda had hoped to be as good as them one day.

"Thanks Liv, I really don't know what to say. I'd love to be able to start over, be friends. All my life, I knew I wanted to be a police officer and when I got the chance to come here and work with you, I knew it was a dream come true. I guess that's why I've always tried so hard to impress you but it doesn't usually work out that way."

"Just be a good cop and that is more than enough to impress me. You kind of remind me of myself sometimes, Amanda and maybe that's why I've been more critical of you. I don't want to see you make some of the mistakes that I did."

"Personally or professionally?" Amanda asked.

"Both. All of 1PP and most of NYPD knows about the relationship I had with Brian. I really thought that was going to last. But it didn't. Then the whole thing with Tucker was a surprise to everyone. I even dated a newspaper reporter and an ADA for a little bit. But someday I hope to find that special someone who wants to be with me and Noah and be a real family," Liv said.

"You will find that someone, Liv. I never thought I'd end up with Sonny, believe me, but somehow he wormed his way into my heart. Now I don't think I could ever picture my life without him."

"So does that mean you're thinking of marrying Carisi?" Liv asked.

"No. Well, not anytime soon. I still don't think marriage is for me. What's wrong with just being together? What does that stupid piece of paper really mean anyways?"

"Amanda, if you love him and want to be with him forever, then what's stopping you from marrying him?" Liv asked.

"I never would've pegged you as a romantic type," Amanda noted, changing the subject.

Liv sighed. "Again, I just don't want to see you make mistakes like I did. Come on, let's get back to work."

Liv squeezed Amanda's shoulder and left the ladies' room. Amanda turned to look at her reflection in the mirror. She did love Sonny, so what was stopping her? Was it the twisted way she had seen her parents' marriage play out? Was it just the fact that she never thought of herself as the marriage type? Was it the way she had only ever really felt that way about one other man and that didn't work out? What was keeping her from marrying Sonny?

The next night, Sonny was back at Amanda's cleaning her kitchen after dinner. She still wasn't feeling well, but Sonny had at least gotten her to eat some dry toast. But Amanda being Amanda had to have hot sauce on it. Sonny thought the whole thing sounded disgusting. Now Amanda was lying down on the couch while Sonny was going to put Jesse to bed.

"Come say goodnight to Mama," he murmured to the sleeping baby in his arms. He rocked her gently back and forth as he walked to the couch but Amanda was asleep too. So he tiptoed to Jesse's room and laid her down in her crib. Sonny brushed the blonde curls from the baby's face before kissing her goodnight and shutting the door.

He came back out and went as quietly as he could to lift Amanda off the couch. She stirred a bit when his arm went under her neck but settled comfortably in his arms. He carried her to her bedroom and laid her down on the bed. Going back out to check the door was locked; he kicked off his shoes and went back in to crawl into bed next to Amanda.

Amanda was having a wonderful dream. She and Sonny were sitting on a blanket in the park, watching Jesse as she toddled around the playground. Sonny was pouring glasses of lemonade and smiling bigger than she'd ever seen before. Amanda was smiling herself until she felt a heavy weight in her arms. She looked down to see the soft, sea green blanket wrapped around a tiny baby.

"I think it's safe to say the baby has my eyes," Sonny said, peeking over her shoulder.

"No way, those are my eyes."

"We'll have to agree to disagree. But the baby does have my nose," Sonny added.

"I think that baby has its father's eyes," said another voice. Amanda looked up and saw Declan Murphy standing in front of her. In a flash, the newborn infant was snuggled in his arms.

"Give us back our baby," Amanda cried.

"Don't you mean _our_ baby, darlin'?" Declan said, Jesse suddenly beside him. "We now have the perfect family."

Amanda woke up, covered in sweat and breathing heavy. Sonny was up in a flash beside her.

"What's wrong?"

Amanda didn't know any other way to say it. "I think I'm pregnant."

Sonny started to get excited. "This is great. Are you sure?"

"No Sonny. I think I'm pregnant."

"Yeah and?" Everything clicked for Sonny as to what she was getting at. "Are you saying there's a chance Murphy could be the dad?"

"I don't know. I don't know anything for sure."

"Let's worry about it tomorrow. There's nothing you can do right now, it's two in the mornin'. Go back to sleep and we'll figure it out together."

Amanda laid back down beside him, scared at what the future might hold. Would Sonny stay with her if this baby was Declan's? With Jesse it was different; they weren't together before Jesse was conceived. But this was different. Would Sonny still stay with her if she was having another man's child?


	13. Chapter 13

The next morning, both Sonny and Amanda were quiet; neither of them really knowing what to say. Amanda felt guilty that this was even happening and Sonny desperately wanting this to be his child. Together they sat in the waiting room at Amanda's doctor's office.

"Amanda Rollins?" the nurse called out. Amanda stood and Sonny followed. The nurse led them into a room and handed Amanda a cup. "You'll need to provide a urine sample. The bathroom is right down the hall."

"Thanks," Amanda said dryly as she left Sonny in the room and went to the bathroom. As she squatted over the toilet, her mind drifted. The mistake with Declan happened on Thursday night and she made love with Sonny on Friday night. For the first time in forever, Amanda prayed.

"Hey God? This is Amanda, but you knew that. Sorry I'm really bad at this praying thing, but I have a huge favor to ask. Please let this baby be Sonny's, if there is even a baby. You have no idea what Declan would do to me if he found out I was pregnant with his baby. Please God, I know I don't do the church thing a lot but I'm really asking for a Hail Mary here."

Amanda finished her business, left the bathroom and handed the cup to the nurse. She was then led back into the exam room where Sonny was waiting. He looked up from the magazine he was reading and Amanda saw the worry in his eyes.

"Shouldn't be long. Pee tests are usually only a couple minutes," Amanda said, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah," Sonny murmured as he stared at the ground.

"Talk to me, yell at me, just do something please?" Amanda begged him as she crouched in from of him.

"I could never yell at ya, 'Manda. I just don't really know what to think here. Part of me, well like most of me, is hoping that if you are pregnant that I am the dad. I've been tellin' ya that I love ya and Jesse and I want to be with you. This baby would be our way of becoming a family, a more permanent way.

But the other, nagging part of me can't help but wonder if Murphy is the dad. I mean, you guys already have Jesse together and if he finds out that you're pregnant again, he's gonna want to find out if it's his. Then he'll be stuck in our lives forever and I don't want that."

"Sonny, regardless of what this test says, I need to know."

"Know what?" Sonny asked, sounding confused.

"If you're going to still be here, with me."

Sonny just stared at Amanda. Was she really asking this? Could she really believe that he would just abandon her and Jesse after this?

"How can you ask me that? You know I love you more than life itself. I would marry you tomorrow if you wanted. I would adopt Jess in a heartbeat. How could you honestly think I would leave you?"

"Sonny, I have to be reasonable. You and I weren't together when Jesse was conceived, so that's different. But this, I don't really know how we could get past this. I've made such a colossal mistake, the biggest mistake of my entire life. And now this mistake could cost me my future, my life with you. I couldn't ask you to stay with me and raise another man's child, Declan's child. I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave."

"It's gonna take more than this to get rid of me. I'm in this, long haul and all. But I think before we get ahead of ourselves, we should wait and see what the doctor has to say. Maybe you're not even pregnant, maybe you're just sick or something," Sonny said, trying to be optimistic.

Amanda kissed his cheek and smiled. Sonny could always see the bright side of every shitty situation. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly.

"I love you Sonny."

"I love you too 'Manda."

Amanda sat next to Sonny and together they waited for the doctor.


	14. Chapter 14

The door opened and in walked Amanda's doctor. She was an older woman with a kind face and gentle smile. She had been Amanda's doctor when she found out she was pregnant with Jesse.

"Hi Amanda."

"Hello Dr. Emerson," Amanda said, giving her a small smile.

"How are you feeling today?"

"I've been better."

"I understand." Dr. Emerson turned to face Sonny. "And you are?"

"Dominick Carisi, ma'am but please call me Sonny," he said, standing and extending his hand. Dr. Emerson took it and gave him a firm handshake. She then turned back to Amanda.

"So congratulations are in order."

"I figured," Amanda said, glumly.

"Everything okay, Amanda? I know you only had Jesse a year ago, but sometimes it can be a blessing to have two children so close in age," Dr. Emerson said as she sat down across from Amanda and Sonny.

"It's not that. I need to know how early the baby can be tested."

"For what?" Dr. Emerson asked.

"Paternity," Amanda said quietly. Sonny took her hand.

Dr. Emerson looked from Amanda to Sonny and back. "I see. Sonny, may I have a moment alone with Amanda please?"

"Sure," Sonny said as he kissed Amanda's hand and let himself out of the room. Dr. Emerson turned to look at Amanda again.

"What's going on, Amanda?"

"It's a long story and kind of complicated."

"Amanda, I'm your doctor. Everything you say to me stays between us."

"I know."

"Then I have to ask."

"Ask what?"

"Were you raped?"

Amanda was stunned but hid behind her best poker face. "What do you mean?"

"You're asking about paternity but you are clearly in a relationship with Sonny. He seems like a nice man, which leads me to either you were assaulted or perhaps you got pregnant before you met him."

"I've been with Sonny for almost nine months."

"Again, that leads back to being assaulted."

"It's a long story."

"I know."

Amanda took a deep breath. "Declan has come back to town recently."

"That's Jesse's father?" Dr. Emerson asked.

"Yeah. He was just supposed to be back to assist on a case but then he confesses this like undying love for me or something. He says he wants to be back with me and Jesse."

"But you're with Sonny?"

"Yeah. It pisses him off; I know it does especially since Sonny is another cop. First, Declan just tried to do some childish stuff but then there was one afternoon about a month and a half ago that Sonny and I got into an argument and rather than being adult about it, I got drunk in a bar."

"Let me guess, Declan showed up?"

"We were supposed to meet there anyways, talk about Jesse's birthday party."

"Did Declan rape you Amanda?"

"He saw an easy opportunity. I didn't say no and I didn't try to stop him. But it happened and after it was over, I was disgusted with myself. I thought Sonny was going to leave me, that Jesse and I would be all alone. I hate feeling that way; I wasn't raised to feel that way. But when I told him, Sonny said he wasn't going anywhere. But then he and I got, well…."

"I see. Well, to be perfectly honest, to me it sounds like you were assaulted. Being in SVU, I'm sure you know it sounds that way. But it's up to you if you're going to report him.

As far as the baby goes, we could do an amniocentesis, but you're only 3 weeks pregnant and it would be risky. It would be an even higher risk with you because of the problems you had delivering Jesse. I wouldn't recommend doing one and I would refuse to do it."

"So I have to wait until the baby is born? I can't have this hanging over my head for the next eight months."

"I didn't say that either. You know how we do the first trimester screenings?"

"Yeah."

"There's a new test out but it goes beyond the normal trimester screenings."

"How does it work?"

"We take blood from the mother and saliva from the father. IN addition to all the normal screenings, it goes further and lets you know within a 1% chance of your child having any of those diseases. It can also determine gender."

"Okay," Amanda said slowly, not sure where Dr. Emerson was going with this.

"We could use this test to help determine paternity. Of course since the test is new, most insurance plans won't cover it yet."

"This test could tell me who the father of my baby is?"

"Well what we could do was take your blood and saliva from Sonny. From there, if his Y chromosome would match the fetus, we would know that Sonny is the father and that your baby is male. But as long as some of his DNA would match the fetus, you would know that he is the father of your child. If his DNA doesn't match the DNA of the fetus, you know Declan is the father. Unless you want to get saliva samples from both men?"

"No I'm all good with that. Let's get him back in and do the test."

"Unfortunately, the test can't be performed any early than 10 weeks pregnant, so you still have to wait."

"I guess I could handle seven weeks over eight months," Amanda said.

"As soon as you are able to have it done, I'll get both you and Sonny in here. But in the meantime, you're going to need to go on restricted duty."

"Great, desk duty on top of everything else."

"I mean more than just desk duty. You're going to need to start slowing down, perhaps cutting your hours back a little. You work long days don't you?"

"Sometimes."

"I would speak to your lieutenant about getting done a little earlier in the evening, say maybe 7:00?"

"I guess I'll have to ask her."

"If there are any problems, I can account for your medical reasons."

"Thanks Dr. Emerson."

"Also, Amanda I know it's none of my business but I just have to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Based on what you've told me about what happened with Declan, I don't blame you for being nervous about the paternity. But I would also keep things quiet until you know for sure. Don't tell anyone that you don't absolutely have to. And if it were me, I'd report Declan. To me, it sounds like rape but you're the expert on that subject."

"Thanks Dr. Emerson."

"Just see the receptionist on the way out and she'll get you set up with some appointments. Take it easy, Amanda. We'll get to the bottom of this."

Amanda left the office and made her way to the reception desk. She didn't say a word to Sonny as she made the appointments and they left the building. Only once they were safely tucked away in the elevator did she speak.

"Dr. Emerson won't do the amino."

"Figured as much. Way to risky."

"But there is another test that takes my blood and saliva from the father. She said it might be able to help tell paternity and also tell the gender."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go back and do it."

"If I could've done it today, we would have. I have to be 10 weeks and I'm only 3 right now."

"So what do we do about Murphy?" Sonny asked as they reached the lobby.

"I'm not doing anything yet. I need to know for sure about this baby before I do anything so I don't get any more surprises. But right now I have to go talk to Liv. Emerson wants me on even more restricted duty than before."

"Is that even possible?" Sonny asked, getting into the car.

"All I know is the next eight months are going to be hell so it's probably best to stay on my good side," Amanda said as Sonny quickly moved to let her drive.


	15. Chapter 15

Arriving at work, Sonny and Amanda both just sat in the car, each pondering the future. Sonny was holding tightly onto her hand as Amanda rested her hand on her stomach. No matter what happened later, this tiny life growing inside of her was a blessing. Giving her hand one last squeeze, Sonny got out of the car and headed inside. Amanda waited a few moments before following him.

Once inside the squad room, Amanda went to Liv's office but she wasn't there. So she tried the breakroom. There she found the brunette Lieutenant absentmindedly stirring her coffee.

"Liv?"

"Hmm?" was the reply she got.

"Liv, you okay?"

Olivia turned around and saw it was Amanda. "Oh, I'm sorry Rollins."

"Are you okay?" Amanda asked again.

"No really."

"Want to talk about it?" Amanda asked as she eased herself into a chair. They could discuss her in a minute; Liv looked like she needed a friend right now.

"It's my brother, Simon."

"What about him?"

"He just got diagnosed with cancer. Well, that's not entirely true. He got diagnosed about five months ago but is just now telling me. They thought it would get better with chemo and radiation."

"It's not?"

"No, according to his doctors, it's gotten worse. They're only giving him a month or two to live."

"Liv, you should go be with him," Amanda said gently.

"I am. He hasn't met Noah yet and I want them to meet before…"

"You gotta think positive Liv; they're making a lot of breakthroughs with cancer research nowadays."

"I know it's just hard because I know he's the only family I really have left besides Noah. It took me so long to find Simon and I only found him by bending the rules which was stupid because it almost cost me my job but I was desperate to find my father after all these years."

"Liv, if I thought for a second that I could find my father by running my DNA, I would," Amanda said earnestly.

"Well, Noah and I will be on the next flight out."

"Simon left the city?"

"After everything that happened, once they were able too, Simon and Tracy took the kids and left New York. I haven't really seen them since, just video chatted here and there."

"Where did they move too?"

"Montana."

"Oh wow, I am so sorry Liv."

"Thanks. Did you need me for something, Rollins? I have to meet Dodds in my office if you don't."

"No, go ahead. At least we'll have Fin to lead us in your absence," Amanda joked.

"Thanks," Liv said as she gave Amanda's shoulder a pat and left the breakroom. Amanda just sighed. She would just tell Fin about the baby later.

Sonny approached her as Amanda had left the breakroom.

"Did you tell her?" he asked quietly.

"I couldn't."

"'Manda…"

"Sonny, her brother is dying."

"Oh wow. That's awful," Sonny said as he made the sign of the cross, forever the good Catholic boy.

"Yeah."

"What's she gonna do?"

"She's going to Montana to see him. He hasn't met Noah yet."

"Wow, Lieu must be feeling awful. I think I'll have my mother light a candle for her in our church."

"That would be nice," Amanda said with a smile.

"So Fin's gonna be in charge?" Sonny asked.

"I would assume so, he is the Sergeant."

"What did I do?" Fin asked as he came up behind them. They both turned to look at him and Amanda spoke.

"Liv is going to Montana. Her brother is dying. Guess you're in charge now Sergeant Tutuola."

"Oh yippee," Fin said with all the excitement of a toddler being told to take a nap.

"Oh it will be fine. Liv is in talking to Dodds now and he'll probably want to talk to you afterwards," Amanda said.

"You gotta tell Fin," Sonny urged and Amanda elbowed him slightly. He took the hint and walked away.

"Tell me what?" Fin asked.

Amanda sighed. "I'm pregnant."

Fin's face lit up. "Hey that's great Amanda. Is Carisi excited?"

"Not exactly."

"Why?"

"That's the other thing I need to tell you. Come here," Amanda said, leading Fin to the bunkroom. It was the most private place in the precinct.

"What's going on?" Fin asked.

"I'm only going to say this once and no questions until I'm done. Okay?"

"Okay."

"A month or so ago, I was supposed to meet Declan to talk about Jesse's birthday. Sonny had taken me to lunch and we ran into an old lover of his. I got pissed, blew things way out of proportion and went to the bar. I got drunk, no real reason why, I just did. Declan showed up hours later and saw an easy situation."

"Amanda, did Declan…"

"I said no questions. Anyways, something happened with Declan and he could be the father of this baby. Sonny knows what happened; we've talked it over and over to death. We are committed to each other and making this work. Unfortunately, we still don't know who the father is. The doctor won't do an amniocentesis because of the complications I had with Jesse, but there is a test that could help determine the father. I can't do that test until I'm 10 weeks, so we gotta keep it quiet until then. But the doctor wants me on extreme restricted duty. I was going to tell Liv, but with all she's got going on, I thought it was better to tell you instead."

"Are you finished now?" Fin asked arms crossed in front of him.

"Yes."

"Good. Did Murphy rape you?"

"He saw an easy opportunity and that's all I'm going to say on that."

Fin was quiet. He knew Amanda didn't like to talk about things like that ever since her time with Patton in Atlanta but he was also fiercely protective of her.

"I'll keep quiet but I agree with the doc. What do you need?"

"She wants me on a desk and to try to get out at a decent hour, like 7:00."

"No problem. Carisi and I will handle anything that comes in after 7:00 and I can borrow other detectives if I need to."

"Thanks Fin, you always have my back."

"And I always will, baby girl."

Amanda gave Fin a hug and they headed back to the squad room. Liv and Dodds were coming out of her office.

"Can I have your attention please?" Liv asked. Everyone stopped, turned and faced them. "Most of you here know my brother Simon. He has recently taken ill and I will be going on a leave of absence to spend some time with him. Chief Dodds has graciously approved my leave and I will be leaving later this afternoon with my son."

"Will Sergeant Tutuola be taking over while you're gone?" Sonny asked, trying – and failing – to be casual.

"Chief Dodds?" Liv asked as she turned to their superior officer.

"Thank you Lieutenant Benson. Normally, we would have Sergeant Tutuola assume the duties of acting Lieutenant but since we don't how long she will be gone, I thought it was best to bring in another Lieutenant to oversee things. Therefore, the new acting Lieutenant of SVU will be Lieutenant Declan Murphy."

Declan walked out of Liv's office and Amanda felt her jaw drop to the floor.


	16. Chapter 16

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS AWFUL SHORT BUT PLEASE BEAR WITH ME. I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHEN THE STORY SHOULD END OR IF IT SHOULD CONTINUE. PLEASE LET ME KNOW IF THERE IS ANYTHING YOU'D LIKE TO SEE BEFORE IT ENDS!**

"Christ, is this guy for real? Who the hell does he think he is?" Sonny whispered to Amanda. She still hadn't gotten over the initial shock herself. This was all her worst fears coming true – Declan was going to be here, acting as her supervisor for God knows how long and she had to inform him of her pregnancy, the very secret she wanted to keep from him? Now what was she going to do?

"'Manda, you okay?" Sonny asked, reaching out to hold her arm. Amanda was pale as a ghost.

"Let's get her over to her desk," Fin suggested, grabbing her other arm. The two men guided her to her seat and once she was sitting, Fin went to get her some water. Sonny knelt down in front of her.

"You okay?"

"This cannot be happening," Amanda said to nobody in particular.

"'Manda?"

"This cannot be happening."

"Here, give her this," Fin said, reappearing next to Sonny. Amanda could feel the paper cup in her hand but nothing was registering in her mind except for the fact that her secret wasn't going to stay a secret much longer.

Amanda saw a flash of dark hair with greying streaks: Dodds. She propelled herself forwards towards him, abandoning the cup on the edge of her desk.

"Chief Dodds? Can I speak to you for a moment, privately?"

Dodds turned around. "Detective Rollins, of course." Dodds led the way to an empty interrogation room. He turned to face Amanda. "Everything okay, Detective?"

"Actually, Chief, I wanted to speak to you about Lieutenant Benson's leave and about her replacement."

"Is something wrong with Lieutenant Murphy?"

"I think given the history between Lieutenant Murphy, Detective Carisi and myself, that maybe someone else would be better running SVU."

"I think I know what you're talking about, Detective Rollins and I'll admit that I was skeptical myself about it. But after discussing the issue with Senior Chief Simmons, we both felt it was better to bring Lieutenant Murphy in to lead in Lieutenant Benson's absence. He's already been here once before as acting Lieutenant and he knows how to run this squad. The work he's been doing with VICE and the sex trafficking rings just goes to broaden his knowledge of this sex crimes world. Truthfully, we both felt there was nobody better for this position than Murphy."

"But seeing as how he reacted when he found out about Detective Carisi and myself, I don't think it's a good idea for him to be here, no disrespect intended."

"I appreciate your concern but when you and Detective Carisi disclosed your relationship to me, you both assured me that you could keep it out of the job. Are you saying that's no longer possible?"

"No sir. I just have to wonder if Murphy can set his personal feelings aside."

"Has something else happened that I need to be aware of?" Dodds asked. Amanda debated telling him about what happened in that alleyway all those weeks ago but decided against it. She had already put that night behind her and was determined to move forward from it. Besides, would Dodds even believe her if she did tell him?

"No sir. Well, I do have something else to tell you."

"Okay."

"I'm pregnant, sir."

"Congratulations! Please send my best wishes along to Detective Carisi. Of course this means desk duty."

"I understand sir; my doctor has actually requested that I begin leaving earlier in the evenings too as to prevent complications like I had with my daughter Jesse."

"Oh?"

"Yes, she would like to me leaving around 7:00 as to give my body time to recharge before beginning a new day."

"That sounds reasonable. Just be sure to relay the messages to Lieutenant Murphy."

Dodds left and Amanda felt sick to her stomach again. She could only wonder what Declan was going to do when he heard she was pregnant again. Being stuck on desk duty means a lot of time in the office with him while Sonny was out in the field and Amanda knew that Declan was like a dog with a bone. If he wanted something, Declan Murphy was bound and determined to get it.


	17. Chapter 17

"What did Dodds say?" Sonny asked as Amanda returned.

"We're stuck with him. Nothing we can do about it," Amanda replied, glumly as she sat in her chair.

"You don't have to worry about him, Rollins. Carisi and I got your back," Fin said as he gently squeezed her shoulder. Amanda looked at him gratefully and knew that he was now in fierce big brother mode.

"Thanks Fin."

"'Manda, what are you gonna do about…you know?" Sonny asked and gesturing to her stomach.

"Dodds says I have to tell Declan. I just don't have to tell him everything."

"What does that mean?" he asked.

"I'm not telling him about the father, let him just make his own assumptions."

"Detective Tutuola, may I see you in my office?" Declan said, coming out of Liv's office and surprising the group. Fin stood up straight.

"That's Sergeant Tutuola," he replied coolly before walking towards the Irishman.

"My apologies," Declan said as he shut the door behind them. Fin turned to look at him.

"What can I do for you?" he asked.

"I just wanted to make sure you would be able to handle my being here," Declan said, walking behind the desk and sitting down.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I know as Sergeant that you should've taken over for Liv, but she could be gone for some time. 1PP felt it was best not to leave the squad shorthanded and asked me to assist."

"You don't have to explain anything to me," Fin said.

"I'm sure you've heard some nasty rumors about me lately, most of them from Amanda," Declan continued.

"How about we just don't talk about Rollins? That would keep things professional."

Declan observed Fin. "I see I've struck a nerve. You care for Amanda very deeply, don't you?"

"She's my partner; I'll always have her back."

"Hopefully you can continue to have everyone's back as we all work together as a team. No one member of the team is more important than the others. It's important to remember that as we are all on the same side here, to put the bad guys away and get justice for the victims."

Fin kinda snorted, thinking how funny it was to hear Declan talk about justice when Amanda certainly didn't get any.

"Nonetheless, I would hope things could remain professional until Olivia returns."

"Not gonna have a problem from me."

"Thanks. You may go now, please send in Detective Rollins," Declan said and extended his hand. Fin took it but leaned in just close enough to whisper at Declan.

"You ever touch Amanda again and I will kick your ass. That's not professionality talking, that's personal and you can bet on it." Fin then turned and left the office.

A few minutes later, Amanda was knocking on the door.

"You wanted to see me?"

"Please come in Detective and close the door," Declan said as he moved to close the blinds. Amanda did as she was told and closed the door behind her.

"Have a seat," Declan said, gesturing to a seat.

"I'll stand."

"You're looking tired Amanda, Jesse keeping you up at night?"

"What do you want Declan?"

"I think its best while I am your commanding officer that you refer to me as Lieutenant Murphy."

"Then don't ask about my kid, okay? She is none of your business; I thought I made that very clear before."

"She's my daughter too."

"Like hell she is. What do you want?"

"I just want to make sure things aren't going to be weird with my being here."

"Too late to ask me that now, isn't it? Dodds says you're here for the duration."

"I am and I want to keep things on the professional level. I don't think we should let petty arguments or disagreements be aired for our coworkers to see."

"You think what you did was a petty argument?"

"What happened between us was two mature adults enjoying each other's company and you know that's what it was. Obviously you weren't getting your needs met elsewhere or it wouldn't have happened."

"What happened was you saw an easy opening and took it. You thought you could come between me and Sonny, but guess what? It didn't work. We're stronger than ever and expanding our family."

"What do you mean?" Declan asked.

"I'm pregnant and my doctor has restricted me to light duty. I've already spoken with Dodds, he's already assigned me to desk duty but my doctor has requested I start leaving earlier so I'm supposed to leave every night at 7:00."

"How can you be so sure that's not my baby?" Declan asked.

"Because I just found out and I got my period after you did what you did. No way it could be, it has to be Sonny's. I, for one, am glad that it is. But since we're keeping things professional, you don't get to ask me about it. All I had to do was inform you of my pregnancy and now I have. Can I go now?"

"Be sure to let me know if you need anything, my door is always open for you," Declan said.

"Did you want to see Sonny?"

"No I don't need to see Detective Greasy."

"That's _Carisi_ and you know it."

"Whatever. Please close the door on your way out."

Amanda left the office, thinking about what nerve Declan had. While she had lied through her teeth in there, she really did hope deep down that she was telling the truth. She wanted this baby to be Sonny's more than anything; she loved him more than anything. Well, okay, not more than Jesse but he was a real close second. These seven weeks were going to be torture, that's for sure.

"What did Murphy want?" Sonny asked when she returned to her desk.

"Nothing."

"Does he want to see me?"

"Nope. Just be prepared though, Declan doesn't stop until he gets what he's after."

"He's not taking my family away now," Sonny said, wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close.

"Aww thanks Greasy."

"Huh?" Sonny pulled back. "Did you just call me Greasy?"

"Well, Declan did first. Maybe it should stick, your hair is always slicker than a grease trap."

"There's nothing wrong with my hair."

"I never said there was, babe," Amanda chuckled before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek. Sonny smiled and went to sit at his desk. Nothing was going to come between them, certainly not Declan Murphy.

Or did Murphy have something else in mind?


	18. Chapter 18

A couple of weeks passed uneventful as the squad got used to Declan being around. Liv had video chatted in a few times, mostly just to say hi to the gang. Everyone was missing her and Noah terribly, but she had said Simon was making great strides in his recovery process and Noah was having a great time with his cousins Ty and Olivia.

Amanda and Sonny were still together every single second that they weren't at work and it seemed like the only thing on Declan's mind was running the squad. No mysterious phone calls or weird events. It's almost like everything was normal again. Plus they only have another month or so before they could get the test done to determine the father of Amanda's baby, so that made everyone a little mellow.

Arriving at work, Sonny was heading towards the building when he bumped into someone.

"My apologies," he said.

"You're fine Sonny," the voice said quickly and he would've recognized that accent anywhere. He looked down to find himself looking at the youngest Rollins.

"Kim, what are you doing here? You know you got an open warrant? I could arrest you right now."

"I just needed to see Amanda. I'm gonna turn myself in, but I needed to see her first. You know Amanda; she only wants what's best for me. Please just let me see her first, Sonny, please?"

Sonny felt for Kim and Amanda. He knew how close he was with his own sisters and how no matter what Kim had done, Amanda clung to that hope of a relationship like a wet shower curtain.

"Fine. I won't say anything yet but you gotta do it today. I expect you to turn yourself in tomorrow mornin' 9am sharp. You got me, Kim?"

"I get it Sonny and thanks. Amanda was right about you. You really do care about people don't ya?"

"'Course I do and Jesse and Amanda are at the top of that list. 9am Kim or I will come lookin' for ya myself."

"Thanks Sonny."

Sonny continued into the building and Kim turned to head down the alley but someone else stood in front of her.

"Hello Kimberly."

Upstairs in the squad room, Sonny came bustling through the door and saw Amanda sitting at her desk. Since she started leaving early in the evenings, she offered to come in earlier in the mornings to get more paperwork done.

"Missed ya this morning," Sonny said breathlessly.

"You're lucky. Another few minutes and you would've been late," Amanda teased.

"Yeah well I…." Sonny trailed off, not wanting to spill the beans about seeing Kim on the sidewalk.

"You what?"

"I forgot my phone at home and had to go back. Almost missed the last subway but made it just in time."

"Good."

"How are you feeling?" he asked, perching himself on the corner of her desk.

"Tired, I think I'm already starting to swell. My breasts feel huge this morning."

"Maybe you're getting milk in already," Sonny replied with a sly smile as he eyed her breasts.

"Don't even think about it. They're sore and they hurt. It never hurt like this with Jesse."

"Maybe it's' twins," Fin joked, as he came to his desk. "But can we at least stop talking about your breasts? This is a police station after all."

"You're just jealous," Sonny smirked.

"Oh yeah, that's it," Fin shot back.

"Hey, no need to argue about my breasts in front of me," Amanda joked.

"He just wishes he had a good woman in his life so he could touch her breasts," Sonny said, sitting at his desk.

"Bitch, please I can get more hos that Santa Claus," Fin said with a cocky smile.

"Alright boys, enough playing. Let's get to work before you know who shows up," Amanda said, getting back into her paperwork.

"Murphy's not here yet?" Sonny asked.

"Not yet. Liv was always here by now. I wonder when she's coming back," Fin said, clearly not wanting Declan there any longer than he had to be.

"Give her some time. This could be the last moments she ever spends with her brother and they haven't had much time together before now either," Amanda said.

Back downstairs, in the alley near the precinct, Kim stood uneasily.

"What do you want?" she asked.

"Don't take that tone with me. You've got an open warrant. There's really nothing stopping me from dragging you upstairs and booking you. Unless, of course, you do something for me. Then I could forget I ever saw you."

"I don't fuck with cops. That was always Mandy's thing."

"You would just rather whore yourself out to anyone with cash, is that it?"

"It's been a long time since I was hooking. I'm trying to clean up my act, Mandy would want me too."

"Well before you do, it's time to do one last favor. Don't worry; you'll be compensated accordingly if all goes well."

"What do I have to do?"

"It's very simple – Amanda deserves to be happy and I know for a fact that Carisi isn't making her happy. He needs to go away for a very long time and you're just the person to help me do it."

"No way, Amanda loves Sonny. She would never forgive me if she found out I did something to him."

"Oh you're not going to do anything _to_ him, per say. But since you know him so well, you just need to provide a little information. Things that not many people would know and the more private the better. It needs to sound convincing."

"To who?"

"That's not your concern. You do as I'm telling you or you'll be spending your golden years behind bars for that murder you committed. Don't tell me you've forgotten all about shooting Jeff in Amanda's old apartment, his blood oozing onto her floors. Or the fact that you robbed your own sister blind, cleaned out her apartment and leaving her with nothing. You probably pawned anything that was remotely valuable and junked the rest. You have no idea how badly that affected her."

"I do know and I feel horrible about it. I want to make amends to her. It's what I've been learning in my meetings."

"Hitting up the NA meetings now? Whoever would've believed that Kimberly Rollins would admit she's an addict?"

"Cut the riot act."

"You're not really in a position to be giving me orders, don't you think? Just await my instructions and don't tell anyone about this little conversation. If you do, I'll deny every word and add bribing an officer to your list of crimes."

Declan began to walk to the front door. He turned back around and looked at Kim one last time.

"See you darlin'."


	19. Chapter 19

All was quiet at the precinct, maybe a little too quiet. Amanda was getting closer and closer to her 10 week mark and was growing more nervous by the second. The usual tough girl was still showing on the outside, but inside – that's where Amanda was holding her worry.

Not surprisingly, Sonny practically doted on Amanda when they walked through the front door of her apartment. Although Amanda hated being coddled like some kind of toddler, she appreciated his gestures and often allowed him to do things for her that she was capable of doing herself.

Even Declan was being overly agreeable with Amanda. About a week ago, she had horrible morning sickness and had to leave early. Declan had wished her a speedy recovery and sent her home with orders to get some soup and soda crackers. Fin had dropped by on his lunch break to bring her some Ginger Ale and trashy tabloid magazines and Sonny waited on her hand and foot when he came home from work.

Now she was eight weeks along and found ways to keep her morning sickness at bay for the majority of the day. But usually when something was going as good as it was something bad was always around the corner.

It was a regular Wednesday morning when Fin got a call from a local no-tell motel employee. He had seen a man come in with a very young looking woman and thought by the way she was dressed that she was a hooker.

"How can you tell she's a hooker?" Fin asked into the phone.

" _You know how they dress, short skirts and tight little tops. Plus there's a few other girls are hanging around outside. They're all dressed like the first girl and there's a black Tahoe that keeps stopping and talking to them. Sounds like a pimp to me._ "

"Okay, we'll be by to check it out. What's the address?"

The employee gave Fin the address and then hung up. Fin stood and Declan came out of the office.

"What do we have?" Declan asked.

"Clerk from the Holdenbrook says he thinks a hooker is there with a john. Says there's other girls outside and a possibly pimp driving by. Wants us to check it out."

"Okay, how about the three of us handle it?" Declan suggested, meaning Fin, Carisi and himself.

"Whatever about the three of us handle it?" Declan suggested, meaning Fin, Carisi and himself.

"Whatever you want Lieutenant," Sonny said, grabbing his coat.

"Rollins, let us know if anything else should come in while we're out, please?" Declan asked Amanda.

"Sure thing. Be careful."

"I'll bring him home in one piece," Fin said jokingly to Amanda as he motioned towards Sonny.

"Thanks Fin."

"Anytime."

"Let's roll," Declan said.

Arriving outside the Holdenbrook, Declan spoke with the clerk while Fin and Sonny headed upstairs. The man had checked in to room 217 and the clerk gave them the master key. Fin knocked on the door.

"NYPD! Open the door!"

Rustling sounds could be heard on the other side of the door and Sonny nodded at Fin. He unlocked the door and both detectives entered, guns drawn.

"Freeze! NYPD!" Sonny hollered as he went after the john who was trying to sneak down the fire escape. Fin saw a young woman head for the bathroom and cut her off before she could close the door.

"Police," was all he said.

"What do you damn cops want?" she spat out at him.

"Let's start with a name and some ID."

"Name's Cinnamon and yes, that's my real name, I have two sisters, one is Nutmeg and the other is Oregano. Our parents were real crazy and named us all after spices," Cinnamon said as she dug into her purse.

"How old are you?" Fin asked.

"19. here, satisfied?" she asked, thrusting her ID at him. Fin took it and she was in fact telling the truth about her name and age.

"Why are you doing this to yourself? This young, you could be in college," Fin said as he handed her the hotel robe.

"I was in college, lost my tuition. Had to drop out cause I couldn't pay for school. At least this pays enough and I can go back to college next year."

"Not if you're in jail for prostitution."

"First offense would be a slap on the wrist, probation and community service at best," Cinnamon said.

"You know about law?"

"I was going to school to be a legal aid."

"Wow, complete 180 on that, huh?" Fin asked.

"Like you know anything about me," Cinnamon said as Fin took out his cuffs. Sonny appeared in the doorway.

"Hey Fin, I got our john. You okay here?"

"Is that Sonny?" Cinnamon asked.

Hearing his name, Sonny came closer. "Do I know you?"

"Is that any way to treat me baby? Haven't I serviced your every need?"

"I think you have me confused with someone else."

"No, I'd recognize those baby blues any day. Besides I've been seeing them in bed for a whole year now."

"You definitely have me confused with someone else," Sonny said as he looked at Fin. Both men were baffled by the outbursts Cinnamon was making.

"Don't be like that baby. I take it you haven't been home lately to see your Mama or your sisters? How's Bella's baby girl doing? How's Theresa and her family doing? Has Gina found herself a man yet?"

"How do you know my sisters' names?" Sonny asked, slightly alarmed at how much this hooker knew about his family.

"You told me. You've always been a chatty lover and especially about your family."

"I have never seen you before in my life."

"Oh, so that's how we're playing it?" Cinnamon asked as Declan came up to the group.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"We keepin' it on the DL cause ya boss is here?" Cinnamon asked.

"Keeping what on the 'DL'?" Declan asked.

"About how Sonny has been coming to see me off and on for the last year," Cinnamon said. Declan just looked at Sonny.

"It's not true," Sonny said.

"I'm sure it's not but this isn't really the place to discuss this. Let's get back to the squad. Oh, and one more thing Detective Carisi. You're going to be going in the back of the squad car. Hands behind your back," Declan said, taking out his cuffs.

"You can't be serious?" Sonny exclaimed.

"As a heart attack. The Chief and I have been discussing how lenient the department has been with dirty cops lately and if I were to show you leniency on this, it would come back on the department."

"Do you have to do this?" Fin asked.

"There is no other way, Sergeant. Detective, hands behind your back."

Sonny sighed but put his hands behind him. Declan seemed to be taking extra joy into handcuffing him.

"Let's get everyone back to the station and get this sorted out," Declan said as he led Sonny out of the hotel, while the press was now gathered outside.


	20. Chapter 20

Arriving back at the station, Fin tried to get upstairs before Declan could bring Sonny up. Amanda still hadn't heard as Declan had asked Fin to ride back with him, making him unable to warn Amanda of Sonny's arrest.

"Sergeant, can you help escort the perp upstairs?" Declan asked.

"Come on Murphy, you know it don't have to be like this," Fin said.

"When this department shows leniency with its own officers as customers in the prostitution world, we show the city that cops are treated better than everyone else. This is how this needs to be done."

Fin sighed but took control of leading Sonny upstairs. Declan went ahead of them.

"Fin, you gotta warn Amanda before she sees me," Sonny urged him.

"I've be trying. You know what this is going to do to her."

"I know. I've been racking my brain trying to figure out who is setting me up like this."

"You think Murphy could be behind this?" Fin asked.

"He doesn't know anything about my family. The hooker got her intel from someone who knows an awful lot about me. Besides, I can't see him using some hooker to set me up. He cares more about his job than that."

"Well, someone has gone to a lot of trouble so you better figure out who and soon."

Declan was walking into the squad room and headed for Amanda's desk.

"Detective Rollins, I'll need you to get started on booking the hooker and the johns from the bust."

"There was more than one john?" Amanda asked.

"Yes and I am very shocked to say the least about who the second one is," Declan said, eyes turned towards the door. Amanda followed his gaze. Her mouth hit the floor when she saw Fin leading Sonny into the room in handcuffs.

"What the hell is going on? Fin what are you doing?" Amanda exclaimed as she walked towards them.

"Just doing as I was told," Fin said, shooting a glance in Declan's direction. Amanda whirled around.

"You told Fin to arrest Sonny? On what grounds?"

"The prostitute claims she has serviced Detective Carisi off and on for the past year. As I explained to Fin, Chief Dodds and I have discussed the problem the department has with dirty cops and how lenient their punishments have become."

"Sonny is not a dirty cop."

"That's really not up for me to decide. Fin; please take him to interview 1 while I call Barba. Rollins get back to work," Declan said as he disappeared into the office. Amanda looked at Fin and he just shrugged helplessly before taking Sonny away. All Amanda could do was watch as the man she had fallen in love with was now being treated like some kind of common criminal. Where had the world gone wrong?

Barba arrived but was led right into Declan's office before Amanda could have a chance to talk to him. It was killing her that she couldn't speak to Sonny and she sat at her desk, chewing her thumbnail.

Barba walked into the office to find Declan sitting at the desk.

"You rang?" he asked.

"Thank you for coming so quickly. I'm pretty sure this is going to be an open and shut case. Please have a seat," Declan said, pointing to the couch. Barba sat.

"Have you heard from Liv?" Barba asked.

"She's called a few times to check up on things but if she calls again, I don't have the heart to tell her what's going on now."

"What's going on?"

"We were alerted this morning to a hooker entering a hotel with a john. Sergeant Tutuola, Detective Carisi and I went to check it out. While I was downstairs dealing with the clerk and waiting for backup to arrive to handle the other hookers outside, Sergeant Tutuola and Detective Carisi went upstairs.

Once everything was secured downstairs, I went up to check on everything else. That's when it was brought to my attention that Detective Carisi has been a customer of this hooker's for a year now."

" _Carisi_?"

"Yes."

"There is no way that can be true. Isn't he dating Rollins?"

"The hooker's story has been consistent from the time of arrest. She knows intimate details of his life, details about his family and friends. She seems very plausible."

"Could Carisi have arrested her in the past?"

"He claims he's never seen her before. As part of the new policy that Chief Dodds and I have discussed, Detective Carisi was placed under arrest and brought in."

"You arrested him?"

"It's part of the new policy."

"So why am I here then?"

"I'm also waiting for his union rep."

"You know he passed the bar right? He can act as his own attorney."

"He's waiting for you in interview 1."

Barba left the office and headed down the hall. He walked in to find Sonny pacing the floor. He turned when he heard the door close.

"Barba! You gotta get me outta here."

"What exactly am I supposed to do? You're being charged with soliciting a prostitute."

"You know I would never do anything like that, especially now since I'm with Amanda. We're having a family."

"Rollins is pregnant?"

"You didn't know?"

"I try not to get caught up in all the gossip that goes on around here."

"Well, yeah Amanda's pregnant. She's almost 9 weeks."

"Well congratulations."

"Thanks, but how about getting me out of here?"

"You know as well as I do that I can't just drop the charges. I'm assuming you're planning on defending yourself?" Barba said, sitting down. Sonny sat across from him.

"You see this going to trial?"

"Unless you can find a way to prove the girl is lying."

"In order to do that, I have to get out of here."

"I think if I can stall Murphy long enough, Rikers will be closed and you'll have to remain here in holding for the night. I know a judge; I can call in a favor and see about getting you first on the docket in the morning. I'll recommend you for ROR."

"Then I can go home?"

"You'll most likely be confined to your home with some sort of monitoring device."

"So how can I prove my innocence?"

"Maybe Rollins can help you out as long as you don't leave your home."

"I've been kinda stayin' with Amanda."

"The court will most likely want you at your own apartment."

"Can I at least see Amanda?"

"I'll do my best to keep Murphy occupied. Maybe Fin can sneak her in. Just make it quick."

Barba left the room and went back to Murphy's office. Fin took his chance and ushered Amanda into the room. He stood watch outside the door.

Amanda looked at Sonny, arms folded in front of her.

"'Manda, please say something?"

"What the hell happened?"

"I have no idea. One minute I'm arresting some guy and then this hooker claims I've been a customer of hers. Then I'm in cuffs and brought in here. You know I would never do anything like this, 'Manda, you have to know that."

"I do know that Sonny. Someone is clearly setting you up. The question is who?"

"I have no idea. This hooker seems to know a lot about me, even knew my sisters' names."

"Anyone got an axe to grind with you, someone who could know this personal information?"

"Not that I know of. Fin seems to think Murphy could be behind it."

"But how would he know about your sisters? It almost seems like the only way she would find out so much information would be from another hooker."

Wheels began to turn in Sonny's head. "Or a former hooker."

"What do you mean?" Amanda asked.

"I didn't want to tell you because she asked me not too, but seeing as how she lied about turning herself in, I suppose I should tell you."

"You're rambling Sonny."

"I ran into Kim a few weeks ago."

"Kim? Like my sister Kim?"

"Yeah."

"You didn't arrest her?"

"She said she was going to turn herself in, she just wanted to talk to you first."

"I haven't talked to her since that day she walked away."

"I know, that's why I wanted to believe her when she told me she wanted to make amends with you."

"Well she never did."

"I'm getting that now."

"You think Kim told this girl about you, why?"

"Does Kim know Murphy?"

"Yeah."

"So he would know that she has an open warrant."

"Most likely. Wait, are you saying that Declan is using Kim to get information to a hooker about you to get you arrested? What purpose would that do fir Declan?"

"It would get me out of the way and he could go after you again. He did already rape you once."

"I told you to stop bringing that up."

"But it would get him what he wants which is me out of the way."

"We have no proof to back that up."

"You want the evidence to back it up?"

"It would be nice."

"Okay. We'll get the evidence, but it's gonna take a little actin' to get it. You think you can handle it?"

"Oh I can handle it, sugar. Question is, can you?" Amanda said, the super-sticky-sweet Georgia peach coming through in her voice.

"Good. Here's what we're going to do." Sonny leaned in close to whisper his plan to Amanda. When he was finished, she looked at him.

"You think it's going to work?"

"I'd bet my badge on it."

"Let's hope you're right."

Fin opened the door. "Murphy and Barba are coming. Let's roll Amanda."

Amanda slipped out before Declan and Barba could come in. Declan looked smug as he shook Barba's hand. Barba turned back to face Fin, who had joined them.

"Please take Detective Carisi to the holding cell. His arraignment won't be until morning but unfortunately, we've missed evening transport to Rikers. Goodnight everyone," Barba said. Fin led Sonny away. Amanda caught sight of them. She stormed up to Sonny and poked him hard in the chest.

"How could you do this to me, to us? I thought things were fine, but now you've ruined them!"

"I didn't do this, Amanda, you have to believe me," Sonny pleaded.

"I really thought you were different. I thought I could trust you with my heart and now you've ruined everything!" Amanda was hysterical, practically near tears. Sonny had no idea she was this great as an actress.

"That's enough. Rollins go home," Declan said.

"Gladly," Amanda replied as she grabbed her coat and left. Fin continued on his way to the holding cell.

"What the hell was that?" he whispered.

"Do you think Murphy bought it?" Sonny whispered back.

"That was an act?"

"Yeah. Pretty convincing huh?"

"I bought it."

"Now let's see if everything else goes according to plan."

The two chatted a few more minutes before Fin uncuffed Sonny and left him in the holding cell. He began back to his desk but Declan stopped him.

"Go home Sergeant."

"Isn't it my turn for the overnight?"

"I'm up for a turn, I've got it. Maybe you should stop by and check on Rollins, I'm sure something this upsetting isn't good this early in her pregnancy."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. Good night Sergeant."

Fin took his cue and headed for the elevator. Soon the only ones left in the precinct were Sonny, Declan and a couple unis. Declan sat in the chair across from the holding cell, relishing in the fact that Sonny was on the other side.

"Not the first time you've been behind those bars, is it Greasy?"

"The name is Carisi and last time it was different. I was UC then, you know that seeing as how ya pistol whipped me."

"But now you've gone and messed things up real good with Amanda. Guess when you go to jail, I'll have to be there to pick up the pieces. Just a shame your kid is gonna have to visit you in Rikers."

"My kid will never see me behind bars. These charges are bogus and you know it. You're probably the one setting me up."

"Why Detective, do you expect me to admit to something I haven't done? Shame on you."

"Cut the shit Murphy. You're just itching to get me out of the way so you can go after 'Manda again. But she loves me, she'll never love you and I'll bet my badge that she's telling Fin all about it right now."

"Hold that thought." Declan reached over, grabbed the phone and dialed. "Fin? It's Declan, just go on home. I'll check in on Rollins myself. I got a call out that way, so I'll stop. Bye." He turned back to Sonny. "Guess I'll just go hear all this undying love myself."

"You son of a bitch."

"I've been called worse. Enjoy your night Greasy!" Declan laughed as he grabbed his coat and headed for the elevator banks. Sonny sank down on the bench, things were going according to his plan but he still prayed that Amanda could hold her own against Declan.


	21. Chapter 21

When the knock came at Amanda's door, she was nervous. Not that she thought anything would happen, since Fin was hiding in her bedroom, but because she needed to make herself believable. Once she and Sonny put this plan into action, she knew it just had to be believable.

She opened the door, Frannie by her side.

"Declan? What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. There was a call out this way so I thought I'd check on you. May I come in?"

Amanda appeared to hesitate, but it was merely stalling so Fin could start recording.

"Yeah, I guess." Amanda let Declan in and Frannie began to growl.

"What's wrong Frannie? Don't you remember me?" Declan said, leaning down to pet her head. Frannie snapped at him.

"Maybe I should put her in the other room. She's not normally this temperamental but maybe she knows something we don't," Amanda said, leading Frannie to the bathroom. She turned back around to find Declan staring at the pictures on the wall. Most of them were of Jesse, but some were of her and Sonny or the three of them together.

"You really didn't waste any time, did you?" he asked, clearly upset.

"You were gone, Declan. I know you showed up right before I had Jesse, but you were gone just as quickly as you appeared."

"I gave you my number, I told you to call."

"And what would you have done from around the world?"

"I could've been there for my daughter and for you. I've never stopped thinking about that weekend we spent together Amanda."

"I used to think about it a lot too, but I'm with Sonny now."

"Why?" Declan asked, not so much angry as he seemed more curious.

Amanda sat on the couch. "There's something about him that I just can't explain. When he first came to SVU, I was so mad at the world. He really got under my skin and I wanted my partner back."

"Amaro?"

"Yeah, he was reassigned to beat work for one stupid reason or another. But even after Nick came back, something had changed. Sonny wasn't so annoying anymore and we became friends I guess. Then things with Nick went south and he was gone. No actually they went west I guess, seeing as how he left for California."

"Were you involved with Amaro?"

"Briefly, but yes. Then there was you."

"All thanks to a snowstorm in February."

"Yeah. But then you were gone too. Sonny never left. He stayed by my side in the hospital, after I had Jesse, helped me when there was nobody else. Hell, I wouldn't have my nanny if it weren't for Sonny. I'm not really sure when I began to see him in a different light, but I'm glad I did. I know this has to be hard for you to hear, but I love him Declan. I love Sonny Carisi with all my heart."

Declan appeared to be taking in her words before he spoke. Amanda looked at him and wondered how they could've gotten to where they were now: Sonny locked up on bogus charges and convinced that Declan was the one to set him up; Declan appearing to make amends, even if it was an act and how Amanda could be caught between them. In an instant, Amanda felt herself being torn in half. She loved Sonny and he would always be there for her but does that mean that there was no room for Declan? Of course, they had their ups and downs but who doesn't? Was there room in her life for both men? Could she make the room?

Just as Amanda was contemplating her choices, Declan's voice brought her back to the present.

"So since Carisi was banging a hooker, I can't imagine you staying with him."

"Excuse me?"

"You can't possibly stay with him after he slept with the hooker. Who knows what kind of diseases she could have?"

"Sonny never slept with her, I've been the only woman he's been with in a year."

"Come on darlin', you know as well as I do that he's guilty as sin."

"No, Sonny wouldn't do that."

"And how do you know?" Declan asked, standing up tall to appear mightier to her.

Amanda stood too. "Because Sonny is a good man, he doesn't lie, cheat or steal. He's honest and hard-working. He loves his family and would do anything for them. Sonny Carisi is the type of man every man should strive to be, he would never take advantage of a woman in some dirty alley."

The words rang into Declan and his soft expression faded.

"Well I guess he fooled you didn't he? If you had just stuck with me, none of this would be happening and that would be our baby you're carrying."

"Well, it's not. Look, Declan, I'm tired and it's late."

"Can I at least see Jesse for a minute?"

"She's sleeping."

"I'll be quiet. I just want to see her."

Amanda thought about it and finally sighed. If Declan was in with Jesse, she could get Fin out of her bedroom. Then when Declan left, Fin could follow him.

"Alright, there's a rocking chair in her room. You can sit there for a couple minutes."

Amanda led Declan down the hall and shut the door after he stepped inside. Then she went to her own bedroom.

"He's in with Jesse, so let's move it," she whispered to Fin. He quickly followed her out to the front door.

"What do you want me to do now?" Fin asked.

"Follow him, see where he goes. He said he had a call out this way but I haven't heard anything."

"Neither have I. He could be lying just to he had an excuse to stop by."

"I think our key to solving this is finding Kim. We find Kim and she confesses to helping him."

"I'll call in some favors. If Kim is in the city, we'll find her."

"Thanks Fin. Go before he sees you."

Amanda shut the door behind Fin and a moment later, Declan appeared.

"She is an angel."

"I've always thought so."

"She has my nose."

"Ears too, but a mouth just like her mama."

"Thanks for letting me see her, Amanda."

"You're welcome."

Declan went to the door. He turned and almost appeared like he was going to kiss her but stopped himself.

"Good night Amanda."

"Good night Declan."


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning, Amanda was in court. No she wasn't testifying, she was there hoping that Sonny was going to be released. After Declan left her apartment last night, she was up all night digging through files and chasing down leads to prove Cinnamon was lying.

She sat behind Barba, knowing full well that he was going to request ROR for Sonny. Even he knew Sonny well enough to know that there was no way he had been sleeping with a hooker for a year.

"All rise," the bailiff said before the judge entered. The judge was a middle aged man, probably in his 40s but looked very friendly. Hopefully his appearance wasn't the opposite of his rulings.

"Docket ending 253346 State of New York V Dominick Carisi Jr, 12 counts of solicitation," the bailiff said, handing the folder to the judge.

"Rafael Barba for the People," Barba said.

"People on bail?" the judge asked.

"Given that Detective Carisi is a decorated member of the NYPD without so much as a blemish on his record, we request ROR with home monitoring. Detective Carisi has no reason to flee the city," Barba said.

"I take it you have no objections, Mr. Carisi?" the judge asked Sonny, who was defending himself.

"No sir, however I do recommend the charges be dropped as there is no evidence to support them."

"Are you sure you want to be representing yourself son?" the judge asked.

"With all due respect, Your Honor, I have taken and passed the bar exam. I feel comfortably representing myself."

"Very well. Detective Carisi, you are hereby released on your own recognizance, but you are to be confined to your home with a monitoring device. You are not allowed contact with the alleged prostitute and you may leave your home for court appointments and medical appointments only. Do you agree?"

"Yes sir. Thank you."

"Next case!" the judge called, tossing Sonny's folder on the pile. Amanda stood as Barba gathered his briefcase.

"What now?" she asked anxiously.

"Carisi gets his ankle monitor and is escorted home. You understand that he can't leave that apartment, Rollins?"

"I get it. But can I go to him?"

"The judge didn't say visitors weren't allowed, just make sure if anyone asks, you're on official business," Barba whispered to her.

"Thanks Barba."

"Well, these charges are ridiculous. Listen, why don't you go down and tell probation that you are escorting Carisi home after he gets his ankle monitor? It will at least give you a little time together."

"Thanks Barba." Amanda turned and headed for the probation office. She was so glad to be able to see Sonny, being without him last night had made her appreciate what he really meant to her. Now she craved him like an addict craves a fix.

She got to the door and knocked.

"Come in."

Amanda walked in and saw Officer Norwalk fitting Sonny with an ankle monitor.

"I'm Detective Rollins. I'm here to escort Mr. Carisi to his residence."

"You're just in time. He's all set to go. You just have to let us know when you've reached the residence and we'll turn on the device."

"Thank you Officer Norwalk. Come on, Carisi." Amanda led Sonny out of the room and down to her car in the parking lot.

The ride to his apartment was silent, Amanda wishing that Sonny would reach out to hold her hand. He kept his face trained out the windshield, lost in his thoughts. They arrived at his apartment and he led the way upstairs.

All bets were off when they entered the apartment, Sonny pulling Amanda into a deep kiss and she felt him smile against her lips. Her hand slide across his chest as left a trail of kisses down her neck, one of his hands slipping down to her thigh.

"Sonny."

He pulled back slightly to brush a strand of hair from her face then pulled her close once again, his lips finding hers in a longing kiss. A trail of kisses down her neck, lingering at the collarbone as his hands slid down to her waist. Amanda ran her hands down his chest and slid them under his shirt. Sonny gasped before pulling her back into a deeper kiss. He pushed her gently against the closed door of his apartment as his hands trailed back down to her thighs. He lifted her up and Amanda wound her legs around his waist. His lips went back to her neck as she held on to enjoy the ride.

As much as she wanted to take this to his bed, Amanda knew she had to call in. She found Sonny's lips on more time, giving him another soul searing kiss before sliding down his front, eliciting a groan from him. Amanda smiled slyly to herself for knowing what she does to him.

"You might want to hold that thought for a few minutes," she said to him, her voice husky. She pulled out her phone, cleared her throat and dialed.

"This is Detective Amanda Rollins, badge number 2436. I have brought Dominick Carisi Jr. to his residence."

"Thank you Detective. We'll activate his monitoring unit."

Amanda hung up and turned back to face Sonny. He was looking at her, his eyes filled with passion as he approached her again. He took her face in his hands and kissed her again, pushing her back against the door. He made little nips at her neck as his hands reached upwards under her shirt. He caressed her breasts through the lacy material.

As much as Amanda was enjoying the feel of his hands and mouth, they needed to get to work if they were going to prove Cinnamon was lying. Gently she pushed him back.

"Sonny, I'd like nothing more than to drag you to bed and make love all day long, but we have work to do."

"I know 'Manda, it's just so hard to keep my hands off you. Not being with you and Jesse last night almost killed me, I need you so bad."

"I missed you too last night but we need to figure this out. We have to prove Cinnamon is lying."

"Where do we start?" Sonny asked, walking into his kitchen to help put some distance between them and grabbing a couple waters from his fridge.

Amanda sat on the couch. "We need to find Kim."

 ***AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'VE BEEN TRYING TO UPLOAD THE LATEST CHAPTER OF TORN BUT SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH THE FANFICTION SITE. I CAN'T UPLOAD THE DOCUMENT RIGHT NOW. PLEASE BE PATIENT AS I KNOW WE CAN'T STAND TO SEE SONNY IN TROUBLE FOR TOO LONG. ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR YOU WANT TO SEE HAPPEN WITH ROLLISI, PLEASE LET ME KNOW. OTHER THAN THAT, I HOPE TO UPDATE SOON! THANKS FOR BEING SALTY!***


	23. Chapter 23

"This is pointless. We've been through every file we've got and we're still no closer to finding Kim. Maybe I should just work out some kind of plea with Barba so I don't have to go to jail. I might lose my shield, but as long as I don't go to jail, I should be fine," Sonny said three hours later. Amanda was beginning to feel the defeat as well, but refused to admit it.

"I'm not letting you lose your shield or go to jail. We just need to figure out what we're missing," Amanda said, draining her third bottle of water.

"It's not use, 'Manda. Whatever it is we need just isn't here."

"Where is the Sonny Carisi who never gives up, who always looks for the best in people? Where is he right now cause that's who we need here."

"He's right here but he knows when to admit defeat."

"No, the Sonny Carisi standing in front of me is not the Sonny Carisi that I know and love," Amanda said, crossing her arms in front of her. Sonny stared at her; she was looking so adorable in her leather jacket and pissed off to all hell.

"Fine. Let's keep going. I just don't know where to go from here. We need a miracle to solve this."

The door opened and Fin walked in. "Did someone just ask for a miracle cause I think I might just have one of those."

"What did you find?" Amanda asked, grabbing another water and a bagel from Sonny's kitchen.

"Kim used to work for the same pimp that Cinnamon works for now - Slice. It wouldn't be that hard for Kim to get in touch with one of his girls."

"Any idea on where to locate her?"

"I talked to one of my old partners from the 23. He said that particular group of girls usually operates out of the meat packing district and Slice is known for putting his girls up in a house close by. I've got him checking rental records now. Shouldn't be too long before we get a hit."

"Good, then you and I will go check it out," Amanda said but Fin shook his head.

"Not this time, baby girl. I'll do the checking, you need to worry about that little one."

"If Kim is there, I need to confront her. I need to know why she would have a hand in this, why she would want to destroy my life."

"You know you're not allowed in the field. Your doctor would have a field day if she found out, not to mention we are doing this behind Murphy's back and if he finds out, we could both lose our shields," Fin said.

"This is not up for discussion. I will either go with you or without you," Amanda said, hands planted squarely on her hips. She looked so petite compared to Fin's muscular stature. Fin crossed his arms in front of his chest and stared down at her. Sonny watched the interaction between the two, knowing Amanda would win. She always got her way with these guys.

"Fine, but you let me do all the heavy lifting," Fin said.

"Deal."

An hour later, Fin and Amanda were sitting outside of Slice's whorehouse in the meat packing district. They were waiting for him to come home, the coffee getting cold in the cup holder.

"When the hell is he gonna show up?" Amanda muttered. "We have better things to do than sitting around here waiting on some low life piece of shit…"

"Calm down, Rollins. Slice will show, just give him time," Fin said.

"But none of this is helping Sonny. He's sitting all alone in that apartment…."

"We'll get to the bottom of things, Rollins. I promise. Carisi will be fine; I've never seen him be down too long, especially since you came into his life."

"Thanks Fin, but I don't need the sugar coating right now, I'm not a doughnut."

Fin wanted to chuckle but he knew from experience that Amanda was not one to kid around with when she was pissed off and pregnant. He looked out the rearview and spotted Slice coming down the sidewalk.

"Wait here for my signal," Fin said, getting out of the car. He approached Slice.

"Hey Slice."

"What do you want Tutuola?"

"Is that anyway to great an officer?"

"Not much of an officer if you can't even get the bitch who tried to remove my nuts."

"We've been actively pursuing Kim and you know it."

"All I want to hear is that you have that crazy bitch in custody. Now if you don't mind?" Slice said, moving to go around Fin and into the whore house.

"Actually, I was here to ask you something?"

"You need information from me? Sorry, I don't help pigs."

"Look, I'm gonna let that one slide but maybe I should get Rollins over here to help with the questions."

"Amanda Rollins?" Slice asked, panic settling into his eyes.

"Hey Rollins!" Fin called towards the car. Amanda opened the door and stood.

"Hey, keep that bitch away from me. I'll tell you whatever you want to know but keep her away from me," Slice said.

"Never mind Rollins!" Fin called and Amanda got back in the car. Fin turned back to Slice.

"What do you want to know?" Slice asked.

"You got a girl named Cinnamon working for you?" Fin asked.

"You gonna bust me if I say yes?"

"This is off the record at the moment."

"Yeah I do and that is her real name. Her parents were some crazy fucking hippies or some shit. What do you want with her anyways?"

"She was picked up last night in a bust."

"Damn it. She need to be bailed out?" Slice asked.

"She should be out soon, but that's not all."

"What else?"

"Cinnamon claims she's been servicing a fellow officer for the past year."

"Nope."

"Nope what?"

"Ain't no way that's true. I tell all my girls – cops are off limits. They just ain't worth it. They're money might be as green as everyone else but no jail time is worth those small dicks."

"Not everyone on NYPD has shortcomings, you know," Fin said, standing up a little straighter.

"Of course, but still, none of my girls would go near a cop, no matter how big his dick might be."

"So you say Cinnamon is lying?"

"She has to be. Not sure why she would be though."

"Has she had contact with Kim Rollins? We heard she was back in the city."

"My girls know better than to be in touch with that slut."

"Well, we believe that Cinnamon has been in contact with her. Now when Cinnamon gets home, you're gonna need to ask her about it."

"Oh you can bet your ass I'm gonna ask her about it."

"You lay one hand on that girl and I will be back here and haulin' your ass in so fast, your head will spin," Fin warned him.

"What do you want then?"

"You need to ask her if she has been in contact with Kim Rollins. Call me when you find out. I'll be waiting," Fin said, turning back to the car but then stopped. He turned back to Slice. "One more thing."

"What now Tutuola?"

"Tell Cinnamon she's done here. Girl like her deserves to be in school, not working on her back for you."

"Hey if she wants to whore herself out, that's her choice."

"You tell Cinnamon she's out, or I can get Rollins over here," Fin said, about to call for Amanda.

"No need for that. She's done working for me."

"Good. I'll be waiting for your call." Fin walked back and got into the car. Amanda turned to him.

"What did he say?"

"Slice says there is no way that one of his girls would be caught sleeping with a cop."

"And why is that?" Amanda asked.

"Cause no cop is worth the risk of jail time, no matter how endowed he might be."

"So even Slice says that Cinnamon is lying?"

"Seems that way. We'll find out when he calls."

Twenty minutes later, Cinnamon was coming down the sidewalk towards the whorehouse. Amana and Fin saw her in the side mirror.

"Showtime," Fin said. His phone rang. "Yeah Tutuola."

" _I just seen Cinnamon coming down the sidewalk. Thought you might want to be on speaker for this conversation,"_ Slice's voice came through the speaker.

"How considerate of you," Fin said sarcastically.

" _I just want to wash my hands of you but I'll do what needs to be done. Just come get her when I'm through._ "

Fin and Amanda could hear the door open through the phone and saw that Cinnamon was going in the house. Then they heard her voice.

" _Where the hell you been?_ " Slice asked.

" _Got pinched last night, had to wait until I could get released this morning. It won't happen again Slice, I promise,"_ Cinnamon said.

" _What else happen last night?_ "

" _What do you mean?_ "

" _I heard you got pinched last night; I also heard that you were telling them pigs at SVU that you've been servicing a cop? I told all you bitches, cops are off limits,"_ Slice said.

" _You've got it all wrong, Slice. I haven't touched a cop. I only said that cause Savannah called and needed a favor,"_ Cinnamon said, starting to sound afraid.

" _You girls know you're not supposed to be talking to that slut. That bitch is the one who tried to cut my nuts off._ "

" _You said that was some chick named Kim Rollins._ "

" _Kim Rollins is Savannah. Most of the girls that work this trade come up with other names to use besides their own._ "

" _I swear I didn't know that when Savannah called, I mean Kim called, or whatever the hell her name is. She just said she needed some help, she had an open warrant._ "

" _Yeah, that was on me, for assaulting me._ "

" _I swear I didn't know Slice. You have to believe me._ "

" _Why would you do something for her anyways?_ "

" _Savannah – Kim, whoever she is, said she needed help. She needed to get some shit passed on to the cops at SVU about one of their detectives cause it would help her with the warrant. Then I'm supposed to call her when it was done._ "

" _You got her number?_ "

" _Yeah, she's been staying at the homeless shelter in Hell's Kitchen, not too far from here._ "

" _You call that bitch, you tell her the job is done and to meet you TODAY. You meet her at 4pm at the park near here. This ends today. Oh, one more thing. You're done here. After this meeting, you pack your shit and get gone._ "

" _You're kicking me out for this?_ "

" _No, girl like you deserves to be in school. You'll never make it anywhere in the legal profession if you keep getting busted for being a whore._ "

" _I need the money._ "

" _Not my issue. Call her._ "

Fin and Amanda listened as Cinnamon called Kim.

" _Savannah, its Cinna. Yeah, I just got out. Yeah, I delivered the story you asked me to but listen, we gotta meet. No we need to meet. Something doesn't feel right about this. Listen Savannah, you either meet me today or I go back to the cops and tell them I lied. Good, meet me at 4 at the park, it's only a mile from here. Come alone,_ " Cinnamon said before hanging up. Fin and Amanda heard her talk to Slice. " _It's done. She'll be there._ "

" _Great._ " Slice put the phone up to his ear. " _You get all that Tutuola?_ "

" _Tutuola? That's the sergeant who arrested me. You've had the cops on the phone this whole time?_ "

" _Gotta do what you gotta do,_ " Slice said.

"We got it Slice," Fin said.

" _Good, after their little meeting, you get both of them bitches gone. I never want to see them again._ " Slice hung up the phone. Fin looked at Amanda.

"Now we wait for 4pm."


	24. Chapter 24

4pm came around and Amanda and Fin were waiting impatiently in the car. Together they saw Cinnamon as she entered the small park and headed for a bench. She glanced around and sat up a little straighter as she glanced towards the south entrance. Amanda's gaze followed and she saw Kim enter the park.

"There's Kim!"

"Easy, Amanda. We need to get her to admit to Cinnamon what she did," Fin said, hand on Amanda's arm.

Kim walked towards Cinnamon, keeping her head down. She glanced from side to side as she walked. She stopped just short of Cinnamon.

"Why would you ask to meet? I told you I'd leave the money somewhere for you to pick it up."

"Not good enough. I put my ass on the line for you, the least you could do is deliver the money personally."

"I really shouldn't be out in public."

"Too late for that Kim, you owe me this."

It took a second for it to register that Cinnamon called her Kim.

"What did you just call me?"

"Kim. That is your name, isn't it? Kim Rollins?"

"I never told you my name."

"Slice did, after he jumped on me last night. Told me about how you were the one who tried to cut off his boys."

"You don't understand, I was defending myself. Slice was gonna kill me."

"Slice wouldn't hurt a fly."

"Tell that to Gumdrop, oh wait. You can't cause she's dead."

"You trying to tell me that Slice killed her?"

"She was stealing money from him and he found out. We never saw her again but I heard the cops found her body."

"Doesn't mean he killed her."

"No of course not, she just dropped dead with a huge stab wound to her gut."

"Look, I just want to be done with this but first you have to tell me why."

"Why what?"

"Why did you ask me to do you a favor?"

"I was out of options. I needed the help so I could get help with the warrant. I told you all this before. Can we just forget about it and move on?"

"I can forget it; I'm just not so sure they can."

"Who?" Kim asked.

"Hello Kim," Amanda said coolly. Kim whirled around and came face to face with her older sister.

"Amanda!"

"Save it Kim, I don't even want to hear it."

"Amanda, you don't understand."

"You're under arrest Kim, don't make this any harder than it has to be," Amanda said, pulling out her cuffs. "I just don't understand how you could do this to me, to Sonny."

"Do what?"

"Kim, because of your lies, Sonny has been arrested!"

"What?" Kim looked genuinely shocked.

"Don't play off like you didn't know. Fin, get her out of here," Amanda said, pinching the bridge of her nose. Kim always gave her a migraine from hell.

Fin took hold of Kim and began to lead her away.

"Fin! Wait! Let me explain!" Kim shrieked.

"I don't think Amanda wants to hear anymore."

"But you don't understand. All I was told was to pass on some info about Sonny. Nothing was said about him being arrested or I never would've gone along with this!"

"Amanda!" Fin called and Amanda walked over, Cinnamon at her heels.

"What?"

"Tell her Kim."

"All he said I had to do was pass on some information about Sonny. He never said he was going to be arrested for anything."

"Who said?" Amanda asked.

"Declan," Kim said quietly.

"Declan asked you to do this?" Amanda asked.

"He said he could help me out with the warrant if I helped him." Kim turned to face Cinnamon. "Why would you say that about a cop? You know Slice's rules about cops."

"Because he told me to."

"Who told you to?" Fin asked.

"Murphy. He called me after Kim told me stuff about that detective. Said if I wanted to get paid for the job, I had to make it sound good and convincing that I've been fucking the cop."

"Why would he do that? Did you tell him who you told?" Amanda asked Kim.

"Yeah, he told me to. Amanda, you have to believe me, I would never have done this if I knew he was planning on getting Sonny arrested. I know how much he means to you."

Amanda looked thoughtfully at her younger sister. She could really see how much Kim had aged since they had seen each other last. Her blonde hair had lost its sheen, almost lifeless and there were tiny lines around her eyes.

"I believe you Kim, but that doesn't excuse what you did. You need to be held accountable for your actions, all of your actions," Amanda said, taking hold of her sister.

"I know. I wanted you to know how good I've been doing. I'm going to meetings and really trying to work my program. That's why I asked Sonny not to tell you that he saw me. I wanted to make amends on my own."

"That's really great Kim, but now it's time to come clean. You own Sonny that much," Amanda said.

"I know."

"Then let's go ladies. Time's a wasting," Fin said, ushering the women into the car.

"Let me call Barba. He can get Sonny down to the courthouse," Amanda said, pulling out her phone.

" _Rafael Barba_."

"Barba? It's Rollins."

" _What can I do for you?_ "

"Get Sonny to the courthouse. We got the proof we needed."

" _Excellent. I'm just over at SVU discussing an issue with Lieutenant Murphy but I will meet you there as soon as possible._ "

"Thanks Barba."

" _Anytime_."

Amanda hung up and got a small sense of relief. Now that Kim and Cinnamon were going to come clean about what they had done, Sonny would be free. Even more so, they would be free of Declan Murphy forever.


	25. Chapter 25

Fin and Amanda pulled up in front of the courthouse. Together they led Kim and Cinnamon inside, to the elevator and up to the ADA's floor. Barba's secretary stopped them.

"Detectives, it's nice to see you again. Is Mr. Barba expecting you?"

"He is. Detective Carisi should also be here," Amanda said.

"He's not. In fact, that's why I asked if Mr. Barba was expecting you. He's not here either," she said.

"Where is he?" Fin asked.

"When he left, he said he was going to see Lieutenant Murphy at SVU. I assume he's still there."

"Thanks," Amanda said dryly. The four of them went back out to the hall. Amanda turned to face Fin.

"Now what?"

"We could always head over to the squad."

"Something doesn't feel right though. Barba should be here. I told him we had the proof we needed and he said he would be here," Amanda said.

"He could've got held up in traffic. You know that man loves his taxis."

"I'm going to call Sonny, see if Barba's even been there."

Amanda stepped away and pulled out her phone. She dialed Sonny's number but it just rang and rang until his voicemail picked up.

" _You've reached Dominick Carisi Jr. Please leave a message at the tone and I will return your call as soon as possible. Have a nice day_." Amanda didn't leave a message, she just hung up. She turned around to Fin.

"No answer went to his voicemail. I'm going over there. Can you manage with these two until Barba gets here?"

"Sure I can, but you really should let me go. You need to be taking it easy."

"You know that's not going to happen until Sonny is back with us where he belongs. I told you, something doesn't feel right. I need to find out what it is."

Fin gave her a weak smile and Amanda headed down the elevator. Amanda was like a dog with a bone. If she was after something, nothing was going to keep her from it.

Arriving at Sonny's apartment, Amanda ran up the stairs. The worry in the pit of her stomach only increased with each step. She got to his door and knocked. Normally, Sonny was always there, answering the door after the first knock, but this time there was no answer. Amanda knocked again. Still no answer.

Feeling her panic increasing, Amanda flew back down the stairs. Charlie, the super, lived in apartment 1A. Amanda knocked on his door. It opened.

"Can I help ya?"

Amanda held up her badge. She didn't normally go this route but today it felt warranted.

"I'm looking for one of your tenants, Dominick Carisi?"

"Yeah, Dominick lives in 2F. He's not in more trouble is he? Was such a shame when I heard he was arrested. He's a cop, ya know."

"I do know. The thing is, I've knocked on his door and he's not answering. I was wondering if you had a key to the apartment."

"You got some kind of warrant?"

"No."

"Then I really can't let ya in. I could get in big trouble if I let ya in without a warrant."

"Look, Dominick is on house arrest as per his release conditions and I'm here to check that he's home. I don't need a warrant."

"Hold ya horses. Let me get the key."

Charlie disappeared back into his apartment and came back holding a key. Attached to the key was a keyring that said 2F.

"Just don't tell anyone I gave ya this key."

"My lips are sealed." Amanda took the key and headed back upstairs. When she got to Sonny's door, she took a deep breath, inserted the key and opened the door.

The living room looked just like they had left it earlier – empty water bottles and a napkin with little bits of bagel on it on the coffee table, papers and folders strewn about the couch, Sonny's coat slung over the arm of his armchair.

Amanda went further inside and saw he had washed his dishes he had in the sink and the counters were wiped down. She opened the fridge and saw he must've had groceries delivered. There was a fresh gallon of milk, assorted cheeses and bacon. The vegetable drawer held tomatoes, onions and garlic. Amanda peered inside his cupboards. Boxes of pasta and a loaf of French bread sat at eye level.

She wandered into his bedroom, a room she had become familiar with. Although Sonny was more of a neat freak than her, Amanda could always count on the hamper being full. Sonny kept two hampers in the bedroom; one for regular clothes and one for dry clean only. On top of his dresser sat several pairs of cuff links, the silver pocket watch from his grandfather that he hardly ever wore and a couple combs. Amanda went to the closet and pulled down his lockbox. Before she opened it, she remembered they took his weapon upon his arrest so it wouldn't have been there anyways.

Amanda continued to look around and saw that he had made the bed, right down to the hospital corners his sister Theresa had taught him to do. Sonny always joked that with a cop and a nurse in the family, there was nothing they would ever need. Along with the groceries, Sonny must've gotten a floral delivery as Amanda noticed the roses on the bedside table – yellow, not red as Amanda didn't like red roses.

Based on the contents of his apartment, it seemed like Sonny was planning a romantic evening for the two of them. But if he wanted to surprise her, then where was he? Amanda glanced into the bathroom just to be sure but he wasn't there either.

Feeling even more unsettled, Amanda knew what she had to do. She took out her phone and dialed the probation office.

" _Probation_."

"This is Detective Rollins, badge number 2436. I'm calling to check the whereabouts of Dominick Carisi Jr."

" _Yeah, hold on._ " Amanda sat down on the bed while she waited. " _You still there?_ "

"I'm here."

" _Carisi was brought in for a meeting at the precinct._ "

"When? Which precinct?"

" _About half an hour ago, says he went to the 16, Manhattan SVU._ "

"Who brought him in?"

" _Lieutenant Declan Murphy._ "

The pit of worry in Amanda's stomach just became a bowling ball.


	26. Chapter 26

Amanda burst through the doors of the 16th precinct. Uniformed officers and other detectives looked up as she came storming in, clearly in a rage. She didn't stop for pleasantries, just headed for Declan's office.

She stopped short when she saw Barba, Sonny and Declan sitting around the office.

"Something wrong Detective?" Declan asked.

"What the hell is going on?" Amanda asked.

"I'm not sure what you mean. Do you need something? You called this morning and said you were taking a personal day so I assume you're feeling better," Declan said.

Amanda turned to Barba. "You never met us at your office."

"I was here and busy. Once we finished out meeting here, I was headed that way with Carisi."

Amanda turned to Sonny. "Why didn't you call me? What are you doing here?"

"'Manda, calm down. Let's go talk somewhere more private." Sonny stood and led Amanda to the bunkroom. He very calmly opened the door and ushered her inside. Once the door closed behind them, Amanda pounced on him like a waiting tiger on a gazelle.

"What the hell is going on Sonny and don't bullshit me."

"The charges have been dropped. Murphy showed up at my place and brought me here, Barba was already here. Turns out Cinnamon was lying, I guess Kim was involved too. I'm sorry about that 'Manda, but since they got the testimony they needed, I'm free to go and I get my job back."

"Then why is Declan still sitting in that office and not in a holding cell?"

"Because he wasn't the one to set me up, it was Slice."

"What the hell are you talking about? It wasn't Slice."

"Yeah it was. Murphy just had some uniforms bring him in, he confessed to the whole thing."

"What did he say?" Amanda asked, dropping down on the bunk. Sonny sat next to her.

"He said he was getting tired of us fucking cops not finding Kim and arrestin' her. He said he needed to do something to get someone's attention. That was when he overheard Cinnamon talking to one of the other girls and found out she was in touch with Kim. It all happened pretty fast after that.

He found out Murphy was Jesse's biological father and when he saw his picture, he recognized him from when he was working that sting with Johnny D's girls. Slice approached Murphy and told him unless he wanted the whole underground to know he was really a cop posing as a pimp, he better do as he was told.

He told Murphy to keep an eye out for Kim. If she was in the city, Slice knew she would try to find you. It was pure dumb luck that I ran into her that day. Murphy saw the whole exchange and took his shot when he saw me enter the building. He told Kim he needed to get some information about me passed onto a hooker and that she probably had a friend she could get in touch with. So she did and that's how Cinnamon comes into play.

After Kim tells Cinnamon about me and my family, Murphy gets in touch with Cinnamon. He tells her that when she gets busted, tell the cops I've been her customer. If she refused, he would make the prostitution charge stick. Once that was all set into motion, he called Slice and told him."

"But this doesn't make any sense. Kim told us what Declan said to her."

"I know, but he had to keep his cover intact in case he ever went back under. Barba said that I was just caught in the crossfire, but that I was a necessary pawn."

"Why you?"

"Slice knew that Kim is your sister. He knows Murphy is Jesse's father. It didn't take long for him to realize I was in your life as something more than a coworker. What better chance of drawing out Kim if she thought your boyfriend was in trouble? I guess it worked, but I am glad it's over.

Once Murphy brought in Slice and he confessed, he came to get me. In light of the new information, Barba had no choice but to drop all charges against me. I'm a free man."

Amanda thought for a minute. If this was all true, then maybe Declan wasn't the monster she had thought him out to be. She knew that Declan would do anything for her and Jesse, but part of being there for Amanda meant being there for Kim. The Rollins girls were a package deal; you didn't get one without the other. Declan knew how much Kim meant to her sister.

"SO what happens now?" Amanda asked.

"We get to go home, together."

"Home?"

"My place, your place, I don't care where we go as long as we're together. The one thing I've come to realize about this whole mess is that I never want to be apart from you and Jesse for another minute. I know you're not into the whole marriage idea, but seeing as how we might be having a baby together, I think the least we could do is live together."

Amanda looked into his eyes; bright blue and shining like a star on Christmas morning. He was so pure in his emotions and respected her for her thoughts on marriage. If this ordeal had taught her anything, it's that life can be short and nothing should be taken for granted.

"Sonny Carisi, are you asking to move in with me?" she asked, her finger toying with the string of his Mets hoodie.

"I'm asking to create a home with you."

"I think we might need a bigger place. Yours really isn't big enough for all of us and neither is mine."

"Then we start looking for something bigger. Is that a yes?"

"Yes." Amanda leaned over and kissed him, grateful for the wonderful man that was brought into her life. She had never been so happy.


	27. Chapter 27

A few nights later, Amanda and Sonny were sitting on her couch. They had both taken some time off following the dropping of Sonny's charges. It felt nice to just be together, Amanda really didn't know how to describe it. It was almost like it always should've been; very calm and blissful.

There was a knock at the door, drawing Sonny's hand out from under Amanda's shirt and sighed.

"You expectin' someone?" he asked, annoyed at being interrupted.

"No," Amanda said as she sat up a little straighter. Sonny stood and went to the door. Looking through the peephole, he turned back to Amanda.

"It's Murphy."

"Declan?"

"No the other Murphy that you know," he said sarcastically.

"What does he want?"

"I have to open the door to find out."

"Then open it," she said and Sonny opened the door.

"Good evening Detective. Might I have a word with you and Amanda?" Declan asked.

"Sure, come on in Lieutenant." Sonny stepped back and let Declan into the apartment. He closed the door behind him. "Have a seat?" he asked, gesturing to the chair across from the couch. Declan sat and Sonny rejoined Amanda.

"Something wrong?" Amanda asked.

"Olivia is coming back," Declan said his tone even.

"When?" Sonny asked.

"She'll be back in a couple weeks. It seems there is some experimental treatment here in New York that her brother qualifies for. Olivia, Noah, her brother and his family will be returning to the city."

"What does that mean for you?" Amanda asked and Declan sighed.

"I've spoken with Dodds, there's a new trafficking ring that he wants me to infiltrate. I'll be heading out as soon as Liv gets back."

"Where will you be going?" Amanda asked.

"Southeast Asia."

"For how long?"

"As long as it takes I guess."

"I thought you were coming out?" Amanda asked.

"There's nothing for me here in the city. If I had a reason to stay, I would."

"Your daughter isn't a reason?" Amanda asked, shocked at his answer.

"I would love to stay here and be able to be around Jesse. But that means seeing you and it hurts me too much to see you and not be with you. I know you've chosen Carisi and while I don't understand it, I have to accept it. But seeing as how I'm going to be leaving, I do have one request."

"What?" Sonny asked, finding his voice.

"I want to spend some time with Jesse."

"Why if you're just going to leave her?" Amanda asked.

"I want to know her, she is my daughter. I will never have anything that means more to me in this world than she does but I just can't stay in New York anymore."

Amanda looked at Declan, he truly looked defeated. She had never wanted this for him, for them. She had always hoped that they could be on friendly terms for Jesse's sake. She wanted Jesse to have both her parents in her life.

"We go to the park on Sundays. Why don't you meet us there at noon?" Amanda said quietly.

"Thank you Amanda."

"Take care of yourself Declan."

Declan stood and let himself out of the apartment. Neither Sonny nor Amanda said a word as they slowly heard the other man's footsteps disappear.

"I never expected that," Amanda said.

"I did."

"You did?"

"Yeah. I'd probably do the same thing if you wanted to be with him instead of me," Sonny admitted.

"You'd leave the city?"

"'Manda, you have no idea how much it hurts to be around you and not be with you. I remember when I first knew I was falling in love with you, I thought I never stood a chance cause you were with Amaro. But then he left and I thought I had my chance; I was just too chicken to use it. But after you found out you were pregnant and I just knew I had to be there for you."

"You knew you loved me way back then?"

"I knew I loved you the moment I saw you, but you were too busy dealing with whatever you had going on to notice. Plus we all know how brooding Amaro was and how some women find that attractive. I knew that some skinny nerd from Staten Island could never compete with the Mexican stud muffin."

"I wouldn't say you were a skinny nerd," Amanda said, her hand resting on his shoulder and a smile on her face.

"Either way, I knew I had to bide my time and wait for you to be ready."

"What if I was never ready?"

"Then I'd wait forever," he whispered in her ear. Amanda laughed and gave his a playful shove.

Sonny laughed too. "Seriously though, good things are worth the wait. Great things are worth an even longer wait."

"It's nice to know you'd wait forever for me," Amanda said, wrapping her arms around his neck. She slid into his lap and kissed him gently. He responded to her, his hands grazing her back ever so softly.

Her lips began to leave soft kisses down his jawline and to the side of his neck. As much as he was enjoying the sensations Amanda created within him, something still bothered him. Something that just hadn't been settled yet.

"'Manda, when are we going to do the test?"

"Hmm?"

"The test about the baby, when are we going to have it done?"

Amanda pulled back, a little annoyed that her advances were spurned. They would finally be free of Declan Murphy and should be celebrating, making love all night long. Where was this coming from?

"Why are we talking about this right now?"

"I think it's kinda important."

"I know it is, but Sonny, we're finally free. Declan is going to be gone to Southeast Asia and we may never see him again. We shouldn't be dwelling on this."

"I need to know for my piece of mind. Nothing would change how I feel about you, Jesse or this baby and I will be here for all of you, forever if you'll let me. But I need to know if it truly is my baby."

"You will always be this baby's father. No test will ever change that, at least not for me."

"So you don't want to find out then?"

"Will it make you happy?"

"Yes."

"Okay. I will call Dr. Emerson's in the morning and schedule a time for us to come in. Now can we get back to celebrating?"

Amanda went to kiss him again but Sonny stopped her.

"What now?" she asked.

"Did you mean what you told me before, about Murphy?"

"Which part?"

"Is he on Jesse's birth certificate?"

"No he's not."

"Jesse deserves to have a dad that is proud to call her his daughter. Murphy won't even stay in the state for her."

"I know what you mean, I was my daddy's girl and I always wanted Jesse to be the same with her father. Makes me wish I could've chosen a different father for her, you know?"

"You still can."

"How?" Amanda asked, looking at Sonny.

"With no father listed on the birth certificate, you can choose any father you want for her and have him adopt her."

"What if I chose you?"

Sonny looked at Amanda, his heart bursting with pride as she looked up at him, shyly and through her eyelashes. She was asking him to become the legal father of her daughter, to make them a family in the most permanent way she knew how.

"I would be honored to be Jesse's father."

With that, Sonny scooped Amanda into his arms, carrying her in the bedroom. He closed the door with his foot and the real celebrations began.


	28. Chapter 28

Amanda followed her promise and called Dr. Emerson's office first thing the following morning. She was to come in later that day and give her blood since she had an appointment anyways and Sonny could come in anytime to give his saliva sample. Amanda called Sonny to tell him.

" _Carisi_."

"Hey it's me."

" _Hey, what's up?_ "

"I just got off the phone with the doctor's office. You can come in anytime to give your sample."

" _Great. I'll try to get in to the doctor's this week but right now we're right in the middle of something._ "

"What happened?" Amanda asked, her nerves feeling on fire since she couldn't join them in the field.

" _That serial rapist struck again only this time the vic is dead. I just rode into Mercy with her and she was DOA. Murphy wants all available units to comb the scene thoroughly. He and I are headed back there now._ "

"You're in the car with Declan?"

" _Yeah, he picked me up from the hospital and we're meeting Fin and the rest of the CSU guys back at the scene. Hold on,_ " Sonny said, his hand covering the mouthpiece of his phone. Amanda could hear the sounds of Sonny talking to Declan before coming back on the phone. " _Looks like we're gonna be here awhile. Murphy wants you to head into the office and start running down security footage. He says he's emailed ya some links to get started on._ "

"Sonny, I don't know about you and Declan being all buddy-buddy right now."

"' _Manda, we have to do our jobs. A serial rapist is out there and escatlin'._ "

"I know."

" _Just be careful and I'll see ya when we get back to the station. Love ya._ "

"Love you too." Amanda hung up her phone and sighed. Now that Declan was leaving town, he certainly wanted to be friendly with them. Where was this man months ago when he came back to town? If he could've been this man when he came back, things could've been different between all of them. Sonny never would've been arrested and Amanda wouldn't have slept with Declan. Amanda would know with 100% certainty who the father of her baby was.

Not that it mattered. Sonny was the love of her life and she was building a life with him. Every night, they slowly packed up boxes at each of their places, some to go to storage and some to stay at Amanda's place until they found something bigger. Sonny had already talked to Charlie and he agreed to let Sonny sublet the apartment until his current lease was up. Sonny had posted some notices around the Fordham campus and actually had a few people come check it out. Things were going well for them.

But something about the newfound friendship between her boyfriend and ex-lover was bothering Amanda. She couldn't quite put her finger on it but she would get to the bottom of it soon. She tucked her phone into her jeans when she heard Audrey knocking on the door. It was time to get to work.

Declan and Sonny were driving through the city when Declan cleared his throat.

"You know, Carisi, if you're sick you should probably tell me before Liv comes back"

"What do you mean?" Sonny asked.

"You told Amanda you would go to the doctor's this week."

"Yeah, it's just some tests for the baby. Her doctor said there's a new test out that goes beyond normal trimester screenings and Amanda wants to do the test."

"So what do they need you for?"

"They need blood from Amanda and salvia from me. I'm not really sure how it works but I told her I would go and provide a sample."

"You know you could probably get Warner to take the sample for you, would save you a trip downtown."

"Maybe."

Declan slowed the car as they arrived on scene. Fin was waiting for them with the CSU team.

"What do we know?" Declan asked, getting out of the car. Sonny came around the front.

"Not much. Rodriguez wants to talk to you," Fin said.

"Then let's not keep him waiting," Declan replied, pulling on rubber gloves and going to the senior CSU tech. Fin and Sonny followed.

Amanda was sitting at her desk, trying to concentrate on the video footage that had been emailed to her. But the growing feeling of suspicion was still clawing at her gut. It bothered her almost that Declan and Sonny were so chummy now. Was that her way of controlling the situation? Couldn't the two men get along where they shared common interests? But their main common interest was her and Jesse.

"Detective Rollins?"

Amanda turned to see a young officer with a frightened looking teenager beside her.

"Yes?"

"We may have a witness to the assault this morning. She would like to speak to you."

"Of course," Amanda said as she stood. She moved next to the girl. "Can I get you something to drink or maybe to eat? Do you want to sit down?"

"Look, I just came in to tell you that I think I know who killed that woman this morning."

"How do you know she was murdered?" Amanda asked.

"Because he threatened to do the same thing to me if I talked."

"Come with me," Amanda said, leading the teenager into the conference room. The girl sat and Amanda pulled up a chair next to her. She flipped her notepad open and set it on the table. "Want to tell me what happened?"

"Everything started out great; I thought he was the greatest guy. How stupid I was for letting my guard down. That's when everything went to hell."

"What happened? Did he rape you?" Amanda asked.

The girl nodded. "It happened about a month ago. I was so humiliated because I had built him up to be this amazing guy and then he did something like that. It's not like I didn't want to have sex with him, but I thought we could wait a little bit first. I mean, we had only known each other for a couple weeks and it's not like I have a ton of experience with guys, you know?"

"None of that gives him the right to rape you. What's your name honey?"

"Alexis. Maybe if I had done something different, he wouldn't have been so mad, you know? The look in his eyes when he was done just told me that he had no soul. He said if I told anyone, they wouldn't believe me anyways and that if I went to the cops, he'd kill me. Killing that woman today shows me how serious he is but I just can't live with myself if he does it again."

"Who is he, Alexis? Don't let his actions continue to hurt you. Tell me his name."

"Jason, Jason Walters."

Declan, Sonny and Fin all arrived back at the station. They went to the elevator when Declan snapped his fingers.

"Damn it. I forgot to relay the message of my leaving to the CSU team. I need to go downstairs. Head on up and see what Rollins has gotten."

"Will do," Fin said as he and Sonny boarded the elevator. The doors closed and Declan headed downstairs.

He found Dr. Warner sitting at her desk, looking over some forensic reports. She looked up when he entered.

"Lieutenant Murphy, what can I do for you?"

"I was wondering if you could take a cheek swab for me."

"Sure, what for?"

"I've been trying to learn more about my family's history to give to Amanda for when Jesse is older. I want to send away for one of those DNA ancestry kits but I don't want to mess up the swab."

"Of course," Melinda smiled as she stood up. She put on a pair of latex gloves, took the swab and turned back to Declan. "Open wide."

Declan opened his mouth and Melinda stuck the swab inside. She rolled it over his mouth before removing it and placing it inside the tube. She wrote her initials on the tube.

"All done. My best to whatever it is you're looking for."

"Thanks. Oh, by the way, Liv is coming back in a couple weeks. I'll be leaving once she's back."

"I hope everything worked out okay for her brother."

"I guess there are some new experimental treatments here in New York that he's eligible for. His whole family is coming back too."

"How nice for Olivia. I know how she's missed them since they left."

"Thanks again for the swab," Declan said as he turned to leave.

"Anytime Lieutenant."


	29. Chapter 29

Fin and Sonny were sitting with Amanda when Declan came back upstairs. He shoved the covered swab into his pocket and continued over to the detectives. Amanda eyed him suspiciously as he joined them.

"What else do we know?" he asked.

"We may have a previous victim," Amanda said.

"Who, where?" Declan asked.

"She's here. She claims that the man who raped her last month is the same man who raped and murdered our victim this morning."

"Does this previous victim fit the profile?" Fin asked.

"Down to a T. Right height and age, skin tone and hair color. This guy has a serious type."

"What did the other victim say?"

"He raped her last month and warned her that if she went to the cops, he'd kill her. When she heard about the murder this morning, she knew it was him. She came in to tell her story because she didn't want this to happen to another woman."

"So why didn't she come forward before?" Fin asked.

"She was ashamed. She had told everyone in her life that he was this great guy who ended up being a rapist and murderer."

"Did she tell you his name?" Declan asked.

"Jason Walters."

"Fin, Carisi, you guys go pay Mr. Walters a visit. Don't let him know that we like him for this murder but see if he's willing to come in and talk to us. Rollins, could you see if Barba is willing to come down and talk if Mr. Walters comes in?" Declan asked.

"Sure thing," Fin said motioning for Sonny to follow him out. Amanda picked up the phone and Declan went into his office. He closed the door and sat at the desk. His hand brushed against his breast pocket where the swab was safely hidden. He reached over and fired up his laptop.

Sonny had pulled Jason Walters DMV record and got his address. He and Fin arrived at the brownstone and got out of the car, both men taking in the expensive home in front of them. Draperies in the front windows were much more feminine than they would be if a man had picked them out so they deduced that Jason must live with a female.

"Let's go get 'em," Fin said.

"After you," Sonny followed behind. Fin reached the door and knocked.

"NYPD!"

The door opened and a small face peered around the open slit. The woman couldn't have been more than mid-20s, medium height with bright red hair. Fin and Sonny looked at each other.

"Can I help you?" she asked in a timid voice.

"We're looking for Jason Walters. Is he home by chance?" Fin asked.

"Jason is resting; he had a very stressful morning. Please leave." She tried to shut the door in their faces, but Sonny placed a hand on the door.

"Perhaps you could help us."

"With what?" she asked.

"We got reports of a MVA this morning involving the BMW parked in the driveway. Is that your car or Jason's?"

"Jason's car. I don't own a car."

"It would really help us out if we could just talk to Jason for a minute and then we could report that it wasn't his BMW in the accident," Sonny said, his tone soft and gentle. Fin knew he kept that tone reserved for victims and apparently Sonny thought this girl was one.

"I'll see if he can be disturbed. Please come in," she said holding the door open for the detectives. She showed them to the foyer and asked them to wait while she went upstairs.

"What do you think?" Fin asked once she was out of earshot.

"He's rapin' her too," Sonny said, looking around. Suddenly both men heard a loud snarl from a man and what sounded like a slap.

"What did that sound like to you?" Sonny asked.

"Exigent circumstances," Fin replied. The detectives raced up the stairs to see the woman lying in the hallway, blood trickling from her nose. Clearly Jason did mind being woken up. Fin stayed with the woman while Sonny entered the bedroom, weapon drawn. He caught sight of a man fleeing out the window and followed.

"Jason! Stop! Police!" Sonny yelled after him, but Jason didn't stop. He ran across the roof tiles, slipping and sliding as the rain had dampened them the night before. Sonny thought better than to follow him and instead, ran back down the stairs and outside. He came around to the driveway just as Jason lost his footing and fell. Jason's hands gripped the rain gutters but they wouldn't hold for long. Sonny had to think fast.

He looked around and found a ladder next to the house. He ran to it, threw it up next to Jason and climbed up. He reached Jason, grabbed the back of his shirt and yanked. Jason came towards him and both men ended up falling. Luckily they were only a couple feet off the ground and just ended up with some cuts and scrapes. Fin was walking outside with the young woman, wrapped in a blanket as they heard the ambulance approach.

"You okay?" Fin asked.

"Fine," Sonny said.

"What about him?"

"A medic should check him out but he's fine. Call Murphy and tell him we got him."

The secretary at Dr. Emerson's office looked up when she heard the door open. The man who walked in, smiling at her. He set his badge on the counter.

"May I help you sir?" she asked brightly.

"I need to drop off a sample."

"You know this is in obstetrician's office?"

"It's for some genetic testing that Dr. Emerson has ordered for Amanda Rollins."

"One minute." The secretary hit some keys on the computer before looking back at him. "Are you Dominick Carisi?"

"Yes ma'am. I hope it's okay but I had the Medical Examiner of NYPD take the swab, I've just been so busy."

"It's not normally our policy but I suppose we could make an exception for you, Detective."

"Thank you."

As he was headed out the door, the secretary sighed. Amanda Rollins was truly a lucky woman to have that gorgeous red headed man in her life.

After getting Jason checked out by the medics, Fin and Sonny brought him in to the station. Amanda was waiting with Barba, but Declan was nowhere to be found. Amanda had just led all the men into an interrogation room as Declan came in.

"Where did you disappear to? Fin and Carisi got Jason; he assaulted a woman at his home and fled. Barba thinks this should be a pretty open and shut case. Jason hasn't even asked for a lawyer, I think he knows he's guilty as sin."

"Glad to hear it."

"So where did you go?"

"I had to run an errand."

The door opened and Barba came out. "Rollins, could you start processing Mr. Walters?"

"He admitted to it?" Declan asked.

"Folded like a house of cards. He not only copped to the murder this morning, but to the rape of Alexis Shannon, the rape of Ronnie Ann Delgado and several other women."

"Who's Ronnie Ann Delgado?" Amanda asked.

"The woman that was in his house this morning. Fin stayed with her until the EMTs arrived on scene and they took her to the hospital. He's on his way there now to check on her."

"Great job team," Declan said, clearly thinking about something else and not really paying attention to the conversation. He smiled absent-mindedly and disappeared to his office.

"Everything okay with Murphy?" Barba asked.

"Probably just anxious to leave. Liv's coming back."

"She is?" Barba asked, rather excitedly.

"In a few weeks, I bet she'll be happy to know you missed her," Amanda said with a sly smile.

"I'm sure I don't know what you're insinuating," Barba said, clearly flustered. He continued to blush as he gathered his briefcase and headed for the elevator. All Amanda could do was laugh.


	30. Chapter 30

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG BUT HERE IS THE LONG AWAITED END TO TORN. IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE PLUS MY FAMILY AND I MOVED RECENTLY SO THINGS TOOK AWHILE. I REALLY HOPE YOU ENJOY THE END AND PLEASE FEEL FREE TO LEAVE ME ANY SUGGESTIONS ON FUTURE STORIES. STAY SALTY!**

The next few weeks were busy at SVU. There were a couple date rapes, a child molester and a violent sexual assault that they had to deal with. Everyone had been so busy that Sonny hadn't had the time to get to Dr. Emerson's office. He just had to figure out how to tell Amanda that he hadn't given his sample yet.

He decided that dinner and a relaxing evening in would be the best thing for them. So on Sunday night, he arranged for Jesse to go to his parent's house for the night. Diana, Sonny's mom, was super excited to have her 'granddaughter' for the night.

Sonny had left work early, went to the market and grabbed all the things he would need to make Amanda a delicious dinner. He picked only the juiciest tomatoes, the freshest cheeses and the ripest garlic. He grabbed a loaf of French bread and some real butter. He was going to make her homemade garlic bread. He picked up a bottle of red wine, but put it back because he remembered she was pregnant. The whole afternoon, he was devoted to his plan.

He arrived at the apartment and began to cook. He simmered the tomatoes, garlic, onions and other spices in a large stock pot while he browned some hamburger and sausage in a pan. He added it to the sauce and began to cook the lasagna noodles. When they were done, he took them out of the water and let them rest on a sheet pan. He grated the cheeses and mixed up his ricotta mixture. He began to assemble the lasagna and got it in the oven with the garlic bread.

He went around and straightened the apartment. You'd think with as much as they worked, the place would be cleaner but with a one year old running around, there were toys everywhere. Jesse had a toy box that Sonny's father, Dominick Sr., had built but it was rarely used. She much preferred to leave her toys wherever she lost interest in them.

He went to the bedroom and made the bed. He placed candles on the dresser, along the nightstands and began to light them. He even got rose petals for the bed. You would've thought it was Valentine's Day by the way he was going all out, but he wanted to make this special for Amanda to help soften his blow of not getting to the doctor's office.

Once he was happy with his work, he went back to the kitchen and checked the food. It smelled wonderful and the whole apartment began to smell like an Italian restaurant. He checked the wall clock and saw that Amanda should be on her way home anytime now. He leaned against the counter to wait.

8888

Amanda was gathering her coat and purse at the station when her cell phone rang. A quick glance at the screen and she saw it was Dr. Emerson's office. Doctors didn't usually call on Sundays so Amanda scrambled to pick it up.

"Rollins."

"Amanda, this is Dr. Emerson."

"Hi Dr. Emerson, is everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, I just got your test results in for the Natura test and I felt it really couldn't wait until tomorrow to tell you."

"You got the results?" Amanda asked, slipping into an empty elevator. She had one hand holding her phone and the other gripped the cool metal railing. "Do you know who the father of my baby is?"

"I do. There's no easy way to say this Amanda so I'm just going to tell you."

"Tell me what?"

"Sonny isn't the father. His DNA didn't match. I'm so sorry Amanda."

For a brief moment, Amanda was lost. She felt like she was no longer in the elevator, but merely falling through bright lights. Sonny wasn't the father of her baby. After all she had been through in her life, she was about to have Declan's second child. What if this baby looked like him? She would have a hard time trying to explain to everyone why her baby looked like Declan when Sonny was supposed to be the father.

"Amanda?"

Dr. Emerson's voice brought her back. "I'm here."

"Are you alright?"

"No but when has that ever mattered?"

"Amanda, please don't do anything rash. Just because Sonny isn't the biological father of this baby, doesn't mean you shouldn't be with him. I've seen him with you during your appointments and I'm sorry if I'm overstepping my bounds, but he genuinely seems to love you."

"He does love me. I just don't know how to tell him about this."

"My advice – break it to him gently. He'll probably be as shocked as you are."

"Thanks Dr. Emerson."

"No problem, don't forget you have an appointment with me tomorrow at noon."

"I'll be there."

"Goodnight Amanda."

Amanda hung up her phone and slid it in her jacket pocket. She was going to have to tell Sonny as soon as she got home. Her only hope was that he would still be with her in the morning.

8888

When Sonny heard the key in the lock, he smiled brightly and shifted to the couch. He gently poured the two glasses of sparkling cider he had gotten instead of wine and looked at the door as Amanda walked in.

"Hey, you disappeared early today," she said, coming in and fumbling to put her keys in her purse. Sonny stood and walked towards her, glasses in hand.

"I wanted to get home before you so I could have everything made."

"Have what made?" Amanda asked as she finally looked up. She looked around the room, taking in the work Sonny had done. He handed her a glass and she looked at him skeptically.

"Don't worry its sparkling cider."

"What is that smell, it smells amazing."

"That would be Diana Carisi's famous lasagna."

"You made your mom's lasagna?"

"Of course, you love it. You've pretty much requested it every time we go to my parents'."

"Hey where's Jesse?" Amanda asked suddenly as she looked around for her daughter.

"My parents came to get her; she's going to be staying there a couple days. I've already called Audrey and told her she's got a couple days off."

"You really think of everything, don't you?"

"Only the best for my girls."

Amanda began to get that nauseous feeling back, but it wasn't pregnancy nausea. How was she supposed to tell Sonny that he wasn't going to be a father? Her knees began to feel weak and she dropped down to the couch. Sonny sat beside her, oblivious to her inner turmoil.

"Made garlic bread too, I know how much you like it."

"Sonny, we need to talk. Or rather, I need to tell you something."

"What is it?"

Amanda suddenly felt like she couldn't breathe. She studied his face, his ocean eyes eager and caring. Sonny's heart was so big that Amanda felt like she could feel it when she hugged him. This was going to shatter him.

"'Manda?"

"Hmm?"

"You said you had to tell me something."

Amanda took a deep breath. This was it. "Dr. Emerson called."

Immediately Sonny felt guilty. The doctor had ratted him out. "Just listen for a minute, 'Manda."

"Sonny, I know, she told me."

"She did?"

"That was why she called. She felt I needed to know now instead of waiting."

"Well I mean it coulda waited until your appointment tomorrow."

"No I don't think it could have."

"Look, I promise I will get in there tomorrow."

Now Amanda was confused. "Get where?"

"At Dr. Emerson's."

"For what?"

"To give my sample."

"But you already did, that was why she called."

"I already did what?"

"You gave a sample and she got the results. Sonny, you're not the father."

Sonny sat stunned in silence. What the hell was Amanda talking about? He hadn't given his sample yet, why was the doctor saying he had?

"'Manda, I haven't been in to give my sample."

"Dr. Emerson wouldn't lie, Sonny. I know this is hard for you to hear, but you need to. We both need to come to terms and accept the fact that this baby is not yours, that Declan is the father and I'm stuck with him in my life forever."

"I'm tellin' ya, this ain't possible."

"God, you're just not getting this. It's okay. I've come to terms with it already and now you need to take the time to deal with it."

"Deal with what? This is impossible."

"Sonny, we always knew there was that chance."

Sonny stood from the couch and began to pace the room. All his walking was making Amanda dizzy. She set her glass down and stood.

"I'm going to give you some time with this. I think I need some air."

"Where are you going?" Sonny asked as Amanda put on her coat.

"I'm taking Frannie for a walk. Come on girl," Amanda called to the dog. Frannie appeared at her side and Amanda clipped on the leash that was by the door. She grabbed her keys.

"'Manda, wait."

"I need air, Sonny. Please." And with that, Amanda was out the door.

8888

Out in the cool night air of the city, Amanda and Frannie walked in silence. It was breaking her heart to know that the man she had grown to love wasn't the father of her child. She could've pictured their life together – playdates at the park with Liv and Noah, Sunday dinners with his family in Staten Island, birthday parties, Christmases and so much more. Everything was supposed to be perfect and now it was ruined. Ruined because Amanda still acted like a child and couldn't handle her problems like a grown woman should.

Amanda stopped walking and sat down on a nearby bench. Frannie stood guard next to her, the overprotective instincts in the dog on overdrive.

"Rollins?" a familiar voice called. Amanda turned to see Donald Cragen standing there on the sidewalk, grocery store bag in his arms.

"Captain."

"Please, just call me Don. I haven't been your captain in forever."

"You'll always be the Captain to me."

"Is everything okay? You seem upset," Cragen continued.

Amanda sniffled, unaware that tears had been rolling down her face. "I messed everything up," she admitted, never one for being able to lie to Cragen.

"Messed what up?" Cragen asked, sitting beside her.

"I'm pregnant."

"Again? That's wonderful!"

"Yeah."

"I heard you had a baby already, little girl right?"

"Yeah, her name is Jesse."

"Are you not happy to be having another baby?"

"I wasn't at first, but I've had the time to grow to be excited. I just wish I hadn't messed everything up."

"You haven't told me what you messed up."

Amanda sighed. "I'm dating Sonny now."

"That overeager detective I met? The one with the horrible mustache?"

"He shaved it off, but yeah that's him. We've been together almost a year."

"He must be so excited to be a dad."

"That's just it, he's not the dad."

"What happened, Amanda?"

"Jealousy and childish actions, all of it on me," Amanda sighed again as she began to pour her heart out to her former commander. Cragen had always been there to listen to her problems and this was no different. She told him how Declan had come back to town, suddenly wanting this relationship. She told him how she chose Sonny and wanted to create a life with him. She told him about how she and Sonny had been out to lunch when they ran into Sadie. She told him about going to the bar, getting drunk and that Declan had showed up.

"The worst part was that I almost think I knew it wasn't Sonny when he led me outside. But I went anyways. It felt so freeing, making love together like that. But when Declan was done and I saw it wasn't Sonny, I felt sick to my stomach. I wanted to punch him right in the face, he knew that I was with Sonny and he was just hoping this would be enough to come between us. I couldn't get away from him fast enough."

"Amanda, you've been an SVU cop for a long time. Think about what you just told me, what does that sound like to you?"

"I know what it sounds like."

"What?"

"Rape, that's what it sounds like."

"You're right. Have you told anyone that Declan raped you?"

"I've told Sonny what happened and Fin knows too. We all thought Fin was going to be in charge while Liv was gone, but Dodds asked Declan to oversee the unit."

"Wait, where's Olivia?"

"Her brother has cancer; she's gone to spend some time with him. But they're all coming back to New York. There are some new treatments he can get here."

"So while Olivia was gone, Declan has been acting lieutenant?"

"Yeah."

"How are you handling this, working for your rapist?"

"I've been trying to keep everything professional. Declan knows I want nothing to do with him ever again and I will do whatever I have to to keep Jesse from him. This baby too, I guess," Amanda said, rubbing her stomach.

"Are you 100% certain that Sonny isn't this baby's father?"

"The doctor said his results came back as negative."

"Did Declan know about the test?"

"Maybe, Sonny was with him when I called to tell him he could go in anytime to give his sample."

"With everything you know about this man, could you see Declan being that calculated?"

Amanda really thought about it for a minute. Declan Murphy was a master manipulator, he had managed to convince IAB that she was UC in that gambling club without so much as breaking a sweat. Suspects and perps cowered in his presence. He was cunning, conniving and brilliantly deceitful. Of course he had it in him to provide a fake sample under Sonny's name.

"Yeah I could see him doing that."

"Then maybe you should give Sonny a chance to provide his own sample. Just run the test again. But you really should tell IAB about what Declan has done. He needs to be held accountable for his actions and be punished by the fullest extent of the law."

"It would ruin his career."

"Amanda, you need to think about you and your family instead of Declan. Take it from someone who knows a lot more than you do, you need to report him."

Amanda knew in her heart that Cragen was right but she still couldn't bring herself to do it. It would ruin him and in that one instant, Amanda felt like she was back in Loganville. She could feel Cragen's words penetrate her thoughts and it was reminiscent of Chief Patton. It had taken a long time to hold him accountable; did she really want to make the same mistake with Declan?

"Thanks for the talk Captain. It really helped."

"One more piece of advice – stop thinking like a cop. Like it or not, you're a victim. You need to put yourself in that mindset."

"Thanks." Amanda gave him a big hug and turned towards home with Frannie.

Cragen watched her go, knowing full well that she would never be able to fully move on without a kick in the pants. He pulled out his phone and dialed. It rang twice before the other end picked up.

"It's Don Cragen. We need to meet."

8888

After arriving at home, Amanda and Sonny talked it out. They both agreed that they would have the test done again first thing. So they sat down to eat the semi-warm lasagna and enjoy each other's company. It was a good talk but well needed.

The next morning, Amanda and Sonny arrived at Dr. Emerson's office. They went in, hand in hand and anxious for the day's events.

"Hello Amanda," Peggy, the receptionist said.

"Morning Peggy. I believe Dr. Emerson is expecting us."

"Of course and you are?" Peggy asked Sonny.

"Dominick Carisi Jr."

"No you're not."

"Excuse me?" Amanda asked.

"That is not Dominick Carisi Jr.," Peggy said.

"Of course it is. I think I would know," Amanda countered.

"I was here when Mr. Carisi dropped off his sample."

"What did he look like?" Sonny asked.

"Late forties, gorgeous head of red hair, deep emerald eyes."

"Murphy," Sonny said, turning to Amanda.

"Excuse me?" Peggy asked.

"That was not Mr. Carisi, that was someone pretending to be him. Didn't you ask for ID?" Amanda asked, clearly agitated.

"No," Peggy said in a timid voice.

"Why the hell not?" Amanda was almost shouting now. The door opened and Dr. Emerson came out.

"What is going on out here?" she asked. "Oh Amanda, Sonny. I wasn't expecting you until later."

"We need to redo the Natura test," Amanda said.

"Amanda I know the results are upsetting but…."

"No, Peggy here just told us that the Dominick Carisi Jr who dropped off the sample is not the same man standing next to me right now. It was Declan."

"Peggy, is this true?" Dr. Emerson asked, turning to the young woman.

"I guess it is, Dr. Emerson. I'm sorry. I never asked him for ID."

"Let's go into my office," Dr. Emerson ushered them into her office. Once they were inside and settled, Dr. Emerson faced them.

"I am truly sorry for the mistake. I was not here to personally accept the sample; Peggy just said that Sonny had dropped it off. It was a sealed tube from the NYPD Medical Examiner's office so I assumed it was a legitimate sample. I will rerun the test and expedite the results."

"Thanks Dr. Emerson," Amanda said, feeling a weight lift off her chest. Sonny's phone rang beside her. He answered it.

"Carisi."

" _It's Barba. I need you and Rollins down the squad room ASAP._ "

"Be right there." Sonny hung up. "We gotta get to the station," he told Amanda.

"Two seconds and you'll be on your way," Dr. Emerson said, pulling out a swab. She swabbed Sonny's cheek and quickly drew a small vile of blood from Amanda's arm. Then the detectives were out the door.

8888

At the station, Barba was waiting for them but so was someone else. Amanda and Sonny were shocked to see Tucker standing beside him. They hadn't seen him since he decided to leave IAB and Olivia.

"What's up Barba?" Sonny asked.

"We need to speak with Rollins, we thought you might want to be here," Barba said.

"We?" Amanda asked.

"We," Tucker said as he led them to an interrogation room. Amanda sat, Sonny standing behind her. Barba and Tucker took seats across from them.

"What's going on?" Amanda asked.

"Rollins, is there anything you'd like to tell us regarding Lieutenant Murphy?" Barba asked.

Amanda shifted uncomfortably in her seat. She hated being the center of attention and today was especially bad. Something crawled up her skin, making her shiver as she began to realize that someone leaked what happened with Declan to IAB.

"Detective Rollins?" Tucker asked.

"What?" Amanda snapped.

"Did something happen between you and Lieutenant Murphy?" Tucker asked. Amanda just couldn't admit it to him.

"Why would you think that? Someone has clearly been telling you stories."

"We received the information from a very reliable source," Barba said and Amanda whirled around in her seat to stare at Sonny.

"You went to IAB?"

"It wasn't me, 'Manda. I wouldn't do that to you."

"Then who else could it be?" Amanda asked aloud before bolting out of her seat. Sonny, Barba and Tucker followed her to the squad room. She made a beeline for Fin's desk. He looked up when she approached.

"What's going on?" he asked casually.

"You went to IAB after you promised me you wouldn't?"

"Whoa, slow down Rollins. I didn't tell the rat squad nothing about anything."

"What is going on out here?" came a familiar female voice. Everyone turned to see Liv and Declan coming out of the Lieutenant's office.

Amanda just stood there, finally confronted with the reality that was her life. She couldn't say a word. When she felt someone holding her hands, she thought it was Sonny. It wasn't, it was Barba.

"Amanda," he whispered. "Amanda look at me."

"I can't," she whispered back.

"Amanda, you have to face him. He can't hurt you anymore; we're all here to be behind you."

"You don't know that."

"We are here for you. We won't let him hurt you again. What if it were Jesse? What would you tell her to do?"

Amanda looked at Barba's face. He was right. She would tell Jesse to face her attacker and to not stand down. Amanda nodded slowly.

"Tell us what happened," Barba said.

"Yes."

"Did Murphy rape you?" he whispered.

"Yes."

Barba dropped Amanda's hands, stepped back and cleared his throat. "I'm going to ask you again Amanda. Did Declan Murphy rape you?"

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Declan exploded. "This is insane."

"Hold on Murphy. Let Amanda answer," Liv said. Everyone turned to face her.

"Yes," Amanda said, clear and confident in her answer.

"Are you high Amanda? I never raped you!" Declan exclaimed.

"Declan Murphy took advantage of a complicated situation and while I was intoxicated."

"You never said no," he shot back.

"I wasn't able to. I didn't want to have sex with you and certainly not in some dark, dirty alley near a bar."

"What happened next?" Barba asked.

"He had the nerve to ask me if I was going to leave Sonny and then tell me he didn't use a condom."

"Is the baby you're carrying his?" Tucker asked.

"We don't know, the test was inconclusive. My doctor is running it again but I hope to hell this isn't his baby."

Tucker turned to Declan. "Lieutenant Declan Murphy, you are under arrest for the rape of Detective Amanda Rollins. Sergeant Tutuola, if you would?"

Fin walked over to Declan. "Surrender your badge and weapon."

"This isn't over Amanda," Declan warned.

"Badge and weapon," Fin said again. Declan handed over his badge and weapon. Fin set them on the desk and pulled out his cuffs.

"Declan Murphy you are under arrest. _You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand the rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?"_

 _"No Detective."_

 _"That's Sergeant," Fin said as he led him away._

 _"Tucker, my office," Liv said and disappeared through the door. Tucker followed and the door closed. Amanda turned to Barba._

 _"So you going to tell me who told you about Declan?"_

 _"You did, Rollins."_

 _"Me?"_

 _"Well, indirectly," Barba said as he pointed towards the door. Amanda turned and smiled._

 _"Excuse me," she said as she walked away. She reached the door. "You went to Tucker?"_

 _"I couldn't just stand by and let nothing happen. Something had to be done," Cragen said._

 _"Guess I needed a kick in the ass."_

 _"Maybe you did and I'm glad I could help you out."_

 _"Well thanks Captain."_

 _"Amanda, I'm not your Captain anymore. Call me Don."_

 _"Thanks Don."_

 _"Now go spend some time with your man, he seems like a decent guy."_

 _"He is, he loves me and Jesse so much. Do you know he told me he'd marry me in a heartbeat if I'd let him."_

 _"So let him."_

 _"Excuse me?"_

 _"Amanda, you just faced your fear and your rapist in front of the entire squad room. You can't be afraid to face love when it's staring you in the face. Don't let the good one get away. Hold on tight to him._

 _You know, when I lost Marge, I thought I'd never love again. But then I met Eileen and I just knew I had to move past the hurt to be able to love again. I'll never forget Marge or the life we had together but Eileen makes me happy. Does Sonny make you happy?"_

 _"Yeah, he does."_

 _"Then don't let him slip through your fingers."_

 _"Thanks Don." Amanda smiled and walked away towards Sonny. "Hey."_

 _"Hey," he said. "Are you okay?"_

 _"I think I'll be okay."_

 _"And us?"_

 _"We'll be okay too."_

 _"Glad to hear it."_

 _"So can I ask you something?"_

 _"Anything," Sonny said._

 _"Do you remember when you asked me to marry you?"_

 _"Of course I do."_

 _"Did you mean what you said?"_

 _"What did I say?"_

 _"That you'd marry me in a heartbeat."_

 _"Of course I would. But you said not to bring it up again."_

 _"Well, bring it up," Amanda said coyly._

 _"What?"_

 _"Ask me again."_

 _"Is this a test?" Sonny asked, skeptic._

 _"Just ask me Sonny before I change my mind," Amanda said teasingly._

 _Sonny knelt down and took Amanda's hand. Fin watched them from the cage as he filled out Declan's paperwork. Barba, Liv and Tucker watched from the door of Liv's office and Cragen stood in the doorway of the squad._

 _"Amanda Rollins, will you marry me?"_

 _Amanda pretended to think about it, all the while torturing Sonny._

 _"Okay."_

 _"Really?" Sonny asked, shocked._

 _"Sure. I suppose I could get used to having you around," she said with a smile. Sonny stood in one fast motion and swooped Amanda up in his arms. He spun around holding onto Amanda before dipping her and kissing her with all the passion he could summon. He was vaguely aware that everyone was watching him, but hell he didn't care. The woman of his dreams, the love of his life had just agreed to marry him. Nothing could make this better._

 _Amanda's phone rang and she untangled herself from Sonny to answer it._

 _"Rollins."_

 _"Amanda? It's Dr. Emerson."_

 _"Is everything okay?"_

 _"I rushed the results of the Natura test."_

 _"You have the results?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"And?"_

 _"It is without a doubt, Sonny is the father of your baby."_

 _"Really?" Amanda shrieked as she grabbed Sonny's arm._

 _"Yes. I made sure of the results myself before I called you."_

 _"You're going to be a Daddy," Amanda said to Sonny, kissing his face._

 _"Are you serious?" Sonny shouted. He jumped up and shouted before wrapping his arms around Amanda again._

 _"Thanks Dr. Emerson."_

 _"Wait, Amanda, I have to ask you something."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Would you and Sonny like to know the sex of the baby?"_

 _"You can tell us?" Amanda said, putting the phone on speaker._

 _"I can tell you the sex if you'd like."_

 _"What are we having?" Sonny asked._

 _"Amanda, Sonny, you guys are expecting a baby boy."_


End file.
